Shadow Before Dawn
by Gabi1994
Summary: The Lord Battousai has grown tired of watching corrupt governments abuse the people he sets out to right the wrongs and create an era of peace, but before that can occur the country must be purged. Can one girl save her village and soften his heart.R
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The Ravages of War

_We live in a violent and dangerous land. the government encourages the lords of our realm to war against one another they believe if the lords are to busy trying to kill one another they will be to weakened to threaten the government._

_This leaves all the villages bereft of protection. Recently a new lord has risen above the rest. He plans to do away with the corrupt government._

He was a dark and powerful lord. My village had always lived surrounded by the dangers of various warring lords but this new menace was very different. We were not only in danger of being raided but of complete annihilation. In the first month of his advance he destroyed the countryside on his way to the capital we were the first village in his path. He was notorious for his cruelty and brutality as his armies revenged the countryside the village elders became more and more worried. They only wanted to survive. They sought to appease him, the great Battousai. He was a wrathful godlike figure in their eyes. Who can blame them? What did the coming of a new era matter to us the poorest of the poor? How could a new government that began by destroying the few semblances of structure that remained in our world be any better than the one we had? Did they think of resistance no we were simple folk let the nobility and royalty speak noble thoughts of revolution or revenge we would toil just the same under their uncaring gaze. My village sought to gain the favor of this new powerful lord by offering forth a gift. A sacrifice of sorts, A lovely maiden for his household that he might overlook their one small village in his wrathful march on the capital. I live alone on the outskirts of our village, my family has been dead for ten years this summer I shall turn eighteen. I am Kamiya Kaoru, and this is my story.

* * *

This was all for the good of the people. Violence and war were necessary to bring about the peace that the current government prevents. I would bring about this peace, who better than myself to commit this act, then I who will live forever a denizen of the night. This generation and many others may curse my name for all I have done, but by then I will have established a stable world for them. These people who despise me, it is for them I do this. So that they may live in a world free of vicious power hungry men. I will create for them this world and then I will fade back into the endless darkness of night. I who have walked this world for a thousand years seen the corruption of the ages they should thank me for I have and will exist for many centuries more. I will leave them once I do this that is the existence of one such as myself, the blood of innocents upon my hands, how could I burden another soul with my curse. I am Battousai the Vampire Lord.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

Rude Awakening

It was dark when I opened my eyes to the sound of multiple voices whispering hoarsely just outside my door. Silently I rose from my futon and walked over to the door then the floor creaked, I winced, all noise coming from the door ceased. Hesitantly someone knocked. I opened the door slowly, outside stood about five of the village elders huddled together as if out of fear. They carried one small lantern between them; it gave off just enough light to see their faces. Slowly one of the men stepped forward, it was Hakim he had always been kind to me after my parents passed on, somehow I didn't think this was a friendly visit. Hesitantly he began,

"Kamiya, as you know there has been a growing threat to our village from Lord Battousai's armies."

"Yes," I replied, "but what has that to do with me?'

Hakim began to stutter and seemed reluctant to reply,

"Y-you see the village had decided…th-that it would be best for all of us to appease his lordships wrath with a gift…"

"A gift…" I said feeling cold as realization dawned on me

"Well yes… and you see the village has decided that seeing as you are alone now…"

He was speaking very quickly now as if getting it all out in the open would be more humane, " it would be best for us all i-if we offered you to his lordship as a tribute that he might spare our village." Hakim finished in a rush.

'_But why me! I'm so young would you callously condemn me to death or worse!' _those were the thoughts rushing through my head. Indeed many of them nearly bubbled up to my lips but one look in the guilt stricken eyes of Hakim and the cold closed off eyes of the other four quickly dampened my questions, instead I nodded. Why make this any harder for him than need be? I could not find it in my heart to blame the other villagers for this and if it would save their lives what had I to lose anyway, my life? I would lose that anyway if Battousai attacked, my happiness, that I would willingly sacrifice if it could save others.

"Good, good," Hakim exclaimed, then more to the other four then me he said, "I knew you would see sense, we will deliver you to the captain of his army in the morning. I will be here for you in the morning."

"Thank you gentlemen," I replied quietly, "let me gather my things-"

"No!" Hakim exclaimed, ""I mean… I am sorry Kamiya but you will seem much less threatening and be more quickly accepted by the captain if you bear no belongings. Bing only what you wear upon your self, I am sorry, this is only for the good of the village"

I merely nodded struck dumb with a mixture of shock and anger. They turned away then and I watched them walk away. Hakim turned to look at me one last time his eyes dark pools of remorse before he hurried to join the others.

Slowly I closed my door. '_What did I expect in a time of such danger? Why should my village protect me over their own kin? No this was for the best' _I told myself '_now my village will survive even If I do not._' Slowly in a trance-like state I made my way over to my futon I might as well seek a few hours respite from the horror of morning…

* * *

"What is it?" I snapped at Sanosuke. '_He back quite early,"_ I thought

"I'm sorry Battousai but the first village we planed to attack has made a strange offer… "

"And… "I prompted

"Well you have ordered us to raze the entire countryside towns and villages included in order to reach the capital is that correct"

_'I hate it when Sano gets timid with me._' I thought, _'It generally means he is about to challenge a direct order or upset some important plan_' "Oh, get on with it Sano, I'm not going to bite you."

Sano smirked at me," Very tactful sir, but really this village is offering to give you a maiden of great beauty-"

"I have no need for women Sano, you of all people know that" I said

"Battousai, you didn't let me finish. They are offering a young woman to you if in exchange you will overlook their village… "He trailed off, "this is only the first village sir surly it will not make any difference if we spare this one village-"

"Oh fine bring her if you wish she may prove useful."

Sano walked out smirking slowly I leaned back in my chair. I was sitting in front of my desk looking over some papers and maps of the local terrain. I sighed; Sano had made me think of all the villages and towns that would soon be destroyed all on my orders. _'Was this really necessary,_' I asked myself for the hundredth time. _'But yes it was if I was to weaken the government enough for my armies to crush them completely_.' If I razed the countryside surrounding the capital they would be completely isolated and that was necessary for my success. _'Yes innocents would die, but in the end their government would fall and peace would be had' _I thought, '_but Sano was right one overlooked village in a swath of destruction would not make any difference in this war_'


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

Dawn

Light streaming through the window woke me from my troubled slumber. Yawning I rolled over planning to sleep a little longer… then the events from last night surfaced in my mind. _'I was to be given to Battousai. Who knew what would become of me…_' I thought with growing horror _'No I will be strong I will not leave here crying and shivering in fear I will go with courage no one will ever see a Kamiya cower. I will be calm I would save this village.'_ I forced my shivering body to my feet and walked over to the water basin in the corner of the room. Carefully I poured some water from the pitcher beside it into the basin. Kneeling down I splashed the cool water onto my face.

I have a very simple home. It has two rooms a kitchen, the place of many, many cooking mishaps, and a bedroom which is a Spartan affair with the futon and chest on the far wall near the window with a wash basin the corner near the door. Drying my face I got up and walked over to the chest opening it up I ran my hand over the old well polished wood. It had belonged to my parents before… it was all I had brought with me from the house we had in town other than my futon. The rest had been sold off to pay for this place and the funeral. Reaching in I sifted through various kimonos till I found a small package wrapped in oil cloth. Carefully I removed the oil cloth revealing a lovely midnight blue kimono with intricate silver designs like small vines curling over the cloth. Beside the lovely kimono lay a matching hair ribbon in a solid midnight blue my mother had always told me matched my eyes. Reverently I lifted the kimono holding it against my body. It finally fit, it had been my mother's best kimono and it was all I could take with me… gently I slid into the smooth silk adjusting the obi then I brushed out my raven black hair and pulled it up into the ribbon and slipped my feet into my geta. Then I walked through the kitchen and outside.

Outside Hakim was waiting he looked up surprised I guess at my appearance. He quickly returned to a studious inspection of the ground before his feet, not that I could blame him. Hesitantly he reached out and placed his hand on my arm and began leading toward the center of the village. As we passed through the silent village I couldn't help feel sad that no one even dared to see me off. No matter soon we neared the center of the village where I could see a tall man with black hair cut to look surprisingly like a rooster's comb; internally I smirked if the situation had been less grim I would have laughed. We stopped about ten feet from the black haired man. He was staring intently at me; I mentally squirmed under that calculating gaze. Hakim gently squeezed my arm before stepping forward and bowing deeply, quietly he said,

"Here is the girl just as we promised. Take her to your lord with our blessings and leave this village in peace." The man nodded not once glancing at Hakim.

"She'll do," He said.

Then he strode forward and took me by the arm and with surprising gentleness led me quietly out of the village in the opposite direction from my home.

As we walked I studied the ground. Puffs of dust rose in our wake. I began to sneak glances at him from the corner of my eye. He seemed a good enough man he had an open and honest face. He was dressed quite oddly though, his arms and legs were wrapped in white bandage and he wore a white jacket that had the character of evil upon the back. Just them we passed the out skirts of the town five mounted warriors rode toward us. The reins of a large black stallion were handed to the black haired man, taking them he carefully set me on the animal as though I weighed nothing at all before swinging up behind me. Still silent he beckoned to his men and we began to ride away from the only home I had ever known. Looking back I saw a lone figure just on the edge of the village, it was Tae the one and only friend come to see me off. She waved wildly and I quickly turned my face away lest all the emotions swirling around in my heart managed to leak out on to my face. We rode away at a canter till the village dwindled in the distance.

* * *

After several minutes of total silence the man behind me spoke up.

"Well missy aren't you a quiet one. No offence meant of course, but at least that ol' elder wasn't lying when he said you were a beauty, right guys."

The riders around her agreed adamantly they seemed to be trying to reassure me. Confused I looked around weren't these soldiers supposed to be the most cruel and dangerous soldiers in Japan and here they were joking and laughing._'Well at least I haven't been tied up as a slave yet'_ Finally I worked up the courage to ask in a quiet voice,

"Who are you sir?"

"Me I'm no sir ha that's a good one you missy can call me Sano I'm the general of Battousai's army." Sano then began to name the riders surrounding them, "OK missy that there on the bay gelding is Aoshi. The little missy beside him on the white mare is Misao. That there is Yahiko on the dun gelding this is his first mission, and the two on the strawberry roans are Hinta and Nimura."

I nodded politely to the riders as they were introduced the presence of the woman and young boy surprised me I hadn't realized they were so young until just now. _'Maybe I will survive this_' I thought as we rode toward the distant horizon and an unknown future.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4

Why?

Even after I introduced myself Sano insisted on calling me missy. We had ridden for about four hours through a completely empty countryside. Glancing around I craned my head back to glance at Sano. He was staring at the passing terrain with distaste.

"What is it?" I asked, "How did the land become like this?" Fields of crops had been burned and trees cut down. It had been much worse closer to the village as we moved toward Battousai's fortress more trees and fields remained unscathed, but then it takes a lot to feed an army.

"It was our armies," he replied looking grim suddenly he glanced down at me. "Oh not that I don't understand the necessity of it missy, I just feel bad about destroying all those trees and fields"

"I see" I replied

"Hey do I sense some skepticism missy?" he asked teasingly, "I'll have you know that all of this was done for the welfare of the people. You see Battousai plans to completely surround the capital and cut them off from supplies by destroying every place those dirty political rats might hide."

"You seem very bitter about them," I replied, "but Sano doesn't that mean you will have to destroy villages and towns as well?"

Sano squirmed a bit "well yes that part kinda bothers me but everyone will be much better off after we establish peace."

"Umm Sano what exactly is wrong with the current government, and how do you know your Battousai will be any better?" he looked down at me as if questioning my sanity "What!" I exclaimed

"Well missy first of all what exactly has been going on around your village for the last I dunno twenty some years?"

"Um well mostly we've been raided by various lords and samurai." I replied

"And so you see that's what I'm talking about," he exclaimed

"Huh, Sano what does the actions of a couple of lords have to do with the government?"

Sano sighed, "Well missy that's a difficult question. I think Battousai would be able to answer it better than me, I'll just say that Battousai would never encourage the fighting between lords like this government does. He would establish a true peace and create a government for the people."

We rode in silence for a few minutes. The others were speaking quietly amongst themselves. I contemplated what Sano had said… perhaps Battousai wasn't such a demon. The people who followed him seemed honest and kind, they certainly admired him. Hesitantly I asked the question that had been bothering me ever since Sano introduced himself,

"Sano, what is the Battousai like?" He smirked at me

"Well now missy I was wondering when you would get around to that. He's not like anyone I've ever met. Everything he does is planed and calculated he is very selfless. He can be a bit grim at times, but then if you had gone through all that he has you'd be grim to I guess" he laughed and went on in a more serious tone, "He is very kind to those who are weaker than himself and he truly regrets the innocent lives that must be lost, but don't let that fool you he is the most powerful and dangerous man that I have ever met and if any are dumb enough to garner his wrath they don't live long enough to annoy him twice." Sano went silent for a moment staring into the distance

After a while I snuck a glance at him when I thought he wasn't looking. He was staring down at me with the most bewildering expression. He looked so conflicted, guilt warred with self loathing and pity as he watched me, then quickly he glanced away. Unexpectedly he signaled to the other riders, they fell behind us just out of ear shot then he began to speak.

"I'm sorry missy; I have to tell you the truth. It's my fault you've been taken from your family…" I must have been gapping at him in shock because he stopped for a moment before he continued. "You see yours was the first village we've come to and I just couldn't bring myself to order the deaths of all those people. So I sent Yahiko to suggest to the village elders that a maiden be offered to Battousai. I was hoping he would indulge me this first time and let me spare the village. And that having a woman around might soften him a bit, make him see that all the villages don't have to be destroyed or at the least we can spare the people, you know evacuate the villagers and then level the town. That would prevent the politicians from escaping the capital and protect innocent lives." He finished in a rush. I stared into his eyes I could see the there remorse as well as his fierce determination, then I spoke,

"Sano you have a good heart, Thank you for sparing my village. I don't blame you at all if I had not left they all would have died and at least I am leaving no one behind"

"What!" he exclaimed "how can you say that I just stole you from your family and friends and you're trying to reassure me?" he asked incredulously I smiled sadly at him.

"Sano I have no family to be stolen from and the only two people who cared about my existence came to see me off. At least in this way I might be of some use to my village." He gasped "That's why only the old man and that girl came out to see you. I was a bit worried I'd have an angry mob on my hands" he laughed nervously as I watched him I thought _'Sano seems to be a good man he won't let me come to harm I hope…_'

"No," I replied "they were probably frightened that if they came out you might have seen a lovelier woman and taken her instead."

"Oh," he said finally comprehending the villagers' attitude. As we lapsed into silence Sano beckoned to the riders behind us and they re joined us.

* * *

We rode for about two more hours then as we crested a hill I could finally see the fortress and even after Sano's reassurances I began to feel a cold dread deep in my chest.

* * *

This is my first story I'm sorry about the typos I try to catch them all but sometimes I miss them please read and review ^_^

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own any of these characters or Rurouni Kenshin


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5

Arrival

As we rode closer to the fortress I began to feel a bit panicked staring up at the fortress I shivered. It was all well and good to discuss a noble lord with his soldiers but to be trapped alone with him _'my life dictated by his whim'_ that was a frightening thought. _'No I am a Kamiya and I will not walk into enemy territory frightened_' with that thought Sano and the rest of the group was waved through the first set of guards. Then I could see the valley spread below me. It was carpeted in tents. The only clear space was the inner courtyard directly surrounding the fortress which was situated on the top of the opposite hill. Our escort dwindled as we descended into the valley.

Misao waved wildly as she and Aoshi split off toward one of the outermost tents.

"They're reporting their findings. Aoshi is the head of the spy's guild that works for Battousai" Sano told me.

Hinta and Nimura had headed straight to the soldiers barracks. Only Yahiko was still following Sano's stallion. Many curious eyes rested upon me as we rode toward the fortress. I merely lifted my chin and stared resolutely toward the looming fortress. Behind me I heard Sano chuckle and mutter

"That's the spirit missy" and I hoped to god he was right…

Whispers erupted behind us as we passed. Finally we neared the gate of the fortress itself as we got close it I heard Sano say,

"Here's our stop missy" he stayed mounted as Yahiko dismounted and took Sano's reins. Then he swung off the horse. He reached up and lifted me off the horse setting me down he walked over and patted the stallion's neck, then turning to Yahiko he said,

"Just get Zanbatou down to the stables and give him a good rubdown, make sure he has plenty of hay and water. Oh and tell someone to make sure to cover him for the night; he's done well today" turning to the horse he spoke affectionately to him before walking back over to me. Taking me by the arm he lead me forward saying,

"Normally I'd take care of Zanbatou myself, He's a good horse, I've had him for five years now, but I didn't think you'd take kindly to being left alone now would you missy?" He winked at me weakly I smiled back at him

"Thanks" I whispered

"Not at all missy" he replied

And with that he led me up the steps and into the fortress itself.

* * *

I was sitting within the gloom of my study when the messenger informed me that Sano and the others had been spotted. Sighing I got up and slowly pushed back the thick tapestry covering the window. I winced as the blinding afternoon sunlight burned into my eyes. They were just cresting the hill on the opposite side of the valley. Looking out I could see her. A small girl with long raven black hair wearing a blue and silver kimono rode in front of Sano. I could see her small delicate features. Though she was pale her face was very calm. She was staring across at the fortress and while I new that no human eyes could see me at this distance it still felt as though she looked directly into my eyes. As I watched they rode down into the valley and even through the stares and murmuring of the men her composure remained calm and resolute. Her countenance shocked me and I had to admit the girl was intriguing. Slowly I lowered the tapestry the darkness helped soothe the fatigue brought on by the sun.

As I turned and headed down the stairs of my study and walked over to the infirmary I wondered _'Sano what are you up to?_' I would let the girl rest in her chambers and meet her face to face at supper, no sense frightening the child right after a long journey. With that thought I headed out to speak with Megumi.

As I walked in she looked up from the jars she was labeling

"Do you need something Himura?" she asked

"I just wanted to ask if you would please go and speak with that girl Sano has brought. I'm sure she's frightened and a female presence will help." I replied

Megumi smirked at me "You just don't want to have to show her to her quarters yourself, oh well I guess I could. I'm sure that idiot Sano has thoroughly frightened her by now, she'll need some help adjusting."

With that she shooed me out of the infirmary and began to walk briskly toward the entrance hall. Over her shoulder she said,

"Now you go lay down before all that time in sun gets the better of you, if you collapse some where random I won't go looking for you" she warned.

I just nodded smiling at her concern and headed toward my quarters _'I hope she can take care of it'_ I thought as I drifted to sleep…


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6

Lull

Just as we entered the fortress a tall woman with black hair worn long down her back hurried out to meet us.

"Oh Sano, go get cleaned up you smell of horse, I'll show her to her quarters," she said briskly

"Hey Megumi it's good to see you too, this here is Kaoru Kamiya," Sano introduced me "You'll be just fine with Megumi missy," he whispered then he walked out of the entrance hall down a hallway to the left. For a moment I stood awkwardly in the door way before Megumi stepped forward and said,

"Well hello there Kaoru I'm Megumi the castle's doctor, you must be tired after your journey, just follow me and I'll take you to your rooms." With that she smiled kindly at me and waited patiently for me to catch up before she began walking down a hallway which was on the right side of the entrance hall.

"Thank you," I replied "I'm feeling a bit grimy from the road"

"No problem you've been traveling all day and anyway Himura asked me to see that you were settled in" she replied

"Himura?" I asked confused_ 'exactly how many people are interested in me?_' I wondered

"Oh I meant Battousai only the soldiers call him that though. To the rest of us the is merely Lord Himura Kenshin," Megumi explained

"Oh I see" _'Lovely another name what the heck am I supposed to call_ _him_' the moment I thought this I nearly laughed out loud his name was the least of my worries.

As we passed down the hall Megumi pointed out different rooms,

"Here's the infirmary my quarters are right across the hallway there."

Eventually we stopped at a door about six doors down from the infirmary.

"What's in those rooms?" I asked quietly gesturing are the unnamed doors, Megumi glanced back at them before answering

"Oh they're empty right now. Usually they're used as storage and such but ever since the army gathered here we've moved the stores of food, weapons, and cloth out to the quartermaster's tent, you see Himura didn't want a bunch of soldiers rummaging around just outside his rooms."

"His rooms?" I asked this conversation was waking up a whole bunch of forgotten fears.

"Yeah they're right down there," she replied pointing past my door to the end of the hallway. There shrouded in shadow a doorway stood the last five feet of wall leading to the door were covered in heavy tapestries. They dampened the light that was streaming in from the windows along the hallway. It gave the door a dusky appearance. Then Megumi

pushed open the door to my rooms and walked in. _'His rooms are right next to mine!_' my mind screamed in silent panic. Instead I followed Megumi into my quarters.

I had three rooms the walls of all but the wash room were hung with heavy tapestries similar to the ones in the hall. There was barley enough light in the room to see by so Megumi reached out and lit the candle that was sitting on a small table near the door. Carefully she picked up the candle and worked her way around the room lighting candles that were set up along the walls at intervals. As she worked she explained "this is your sitting room through the door to the right is your private wash room and through the one on the left is your sleeping quarters."

Then she opened the door to the bedroom to reveal a clothing chest and a large western style bed. Noticing my expression Megumi quickly assured me,

"Kaoru if the bed makes you uncomfortable we can have a futon brought. Himura just thinks that western style beds are more comfortable." Looking away from the colossal piece of furniture I replied relieved,

"No the bed is just fine Megumi really, it just surprised me no need to make some one move that thing twice." _'And if they're willing to give me a futon they must not expect me to share my bed'_ Megumi nodded saying,

"Good but if you want a futon just tell me and I'll have Sano or Yahiko find you one." Then she set about lighting the candle by the bedside thankfully this meant she wasn't watching me when I sagged with relief momentarily before regaining my composure. When the candle was burning to her satisfaction she turned back to me saying,

"Now I know you must be tired from riding half the day, so just wash up quickly in the bathroom and then rest I'll come and get you in time for supper. Don't worry about supper it won't be any thing horrible just a small group of officers, myself, and Himura." Then she left. For a moment I stood that contemplating her last statement _'dinner with Battousai'_ I couldn't bring myself to think of him as Himura. It was so harmless sounding and anyone who could order the destruction of all the villages surrounding the capital was defiantly not harmless. That in mind I walked over to the clothing chest. Lifting the top revealed a rich selection of kimonos. Pushing them aside I found two pale colored sleeping yukata picking up the pale cream one I carried it to the wash room.

* * *

After I had cleaned off I felt much better so I brushing out my hair and slipped on the cream yukata. Then I carefully folded the blue kimono and set it within the chest along with the ribbon. Standing I walked over to the bed. It was huge, _'oh well'_ laying down I quickly drifted off to a deep sleep…


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7

First Encounter

When I opened my eyes I sighed with relief, it was night, I could almost feel the cool darkness soothing away the weariness I still felt from looking out into direct sunlight. "_Megumi will have already situated that girl_' I thought. Feeling alert I quickly got up and grabbed a leather tie from the jar on the bedside table, briskly I pulled my long flame red hair out of my way into a low pony tail. Then I pulled on a black gi and white wide legged trousers, stepping out of my rooms I quickly strode past the girls door and Megumi's quarters, before entering my private meeting room. Sano, Aoshi, and Misao were already seated cross-legged around a low round table in the center of the room. When I walked in Sano and Aoshi made as if to stand but I motioned for them to remain sitting as I moved toward my place at the end of the table.

"So how was your little excursion this morning, Sano?" I inquired as I sat down

"Just fine," He replied, "you know Battousai that village gave us one plucky little missy. Have you seen her yet?" I nodded saying,

"Why actually I have I was in my study as you passed through the camp."

"Isn't she a beauty? And she's so calm it's frightening." He said, "It was so sad though, when we were left her village only two people came to see her off."

"I see" I replied

"Well yeah, it was strange she didn't even look back as we left the village. She just sat there in front of me perfectly composed."

"Sano, do you know where Yahiko and Megumi are?" I asked

"Yahiko's coming Battousai" Aoshi replied then Misao interjected

"And Megumi is bringing Kaoru, you know, she seems so nice. I like her, she was so sweet and polite on the way here…" she chattered on and I smiled at her enthusiasm

"I'm sure she is Misao" I agreed. Then she turned to Aoshi and began speaking rapidly to him. Sano was watching me intently, I stared back finally he said,

"She's really is a good little missy, you should give her a chance."

"I know Sano." He would have replied but at that moment the door opened and Megumi entered the room followed by a small woman. The first thing that registered was her scent it was sweet and rich… it enticed me. Thankfully Sano snapped me out of it. Turning to the girl he began to speak,

"Well hello missy did you rest well?"

Vaguely I heard her reply,

"Yes I have thank you." But her large blue eyes were locked on my amber ones. Staring into them I was distracted from her scent, they were like windows into her soul, open clear and deep. Finally she broke our gaze turning to Megumi as she began to speak,

"Himura is that how you greet a guest, for shame," turning to Kaoru she continued, "Kaoru this is Himura Kenshin and Himura meet Kamiya Kaoru." With that she walked Kaoru-dono over to the place beside me and sat her down before moving around the table to sit beside Sano. Turning to face Kaoru I greeted her,

"Good evening Kaoru-dono, I hope you are well"

Until now she had been studying the table top when I spoke she looked up and quietly replied,

"Thank you I'm very well your lordship." Hoping to put her at ease I smiled kindly,

"No need to be so formal Kaoru-dono you may call me Kenshin."

"If you wish… Kenshin" She said trying out the name. Her face was calm and expressionless. I found myself caught in her blue eyes once again; they were a deep clear midnight blue. I could see a kindness there as well as a soft sadness, her face was delicate and lovely her skin pale she had long raven black hair. As I studied her features I could see that she studied mine. Her eyes seemed to weave a bubble of calm around the two of us. Then Yahiko entered the room causing everyone to look up. With the barest hint of a bow in my direction he smiled sheepishly and hurriedly took a seat beside Misao. Who promptly pinched him.

"Yow! What was that for?" He yelled

"That was for being late, dummy, especially when we have a guest." She replied he settled for glaring sullenly at her. Then to my surprise Kaoru chuckled. Sano and Megumi soon joined in the mirth while Misao and Yahiko glared reproachfully at the laughing adults. After a moment I heard Kaoru say,

"I'm sorry Misao, but it's really alright I'm no one of importance." Then a smirking Sano interjected,

"It's alright missy that was funny." He then said, "Hey Misao are you Yahiko's keeper?" before he dissolved into another round of snickering.

"Hey!" Misao exclaimed, "That's not fair, right Aoshi, it's not nice of Yahiko to be late and make the rest of us wait." She said pouting prettily up at him. Aoshi looked down at her for a moment before deciding on a noncommittal answer.

"Perhaps" he stated. This of course set off Megumi and Sano again and soon I heard Kaoru's bell like peal of laughter join them.

Eventually they quieted down and I spoke teasingly to the table "Do you all plan on eating at all this evening?"

"Sure, sure " Sano replied. Then he stood and made his way over to the door to tell the maid standing outside to bring in the food. Quickly she carried in six steaming bowls of rice and a large platter of dumplings. Setting those down on the table she went out again to get drinks, returning she placed a bottle of sake with two cups between Aoshi and Sano. Then she carried in a pitcher of water and cups for the rest, placing those at the center of the table she brought in my single glass of red wine. I thanked her quietly as she walked out.

Looking up I saw the others waiting for me to begin the meal, so I reached over and took a sip of wine as a signal for the others to begin eating. The taste exploded on my tongue, rich sweet, intoxicating. Glancing up at Megumi I nodded appreciatively she had been watching me alertly until now, smiling she turned to her own meal. She is in charge of procuring around a half pint of blood once a month. In general she collects it from various patients in the infirmary and has it added to my wine. I smiled remembering the convoluted story she had concocted about a nourishing tonic for the benefit of the kitchen staff.

Finishing my wine I set down the glass and glanced around the table. Sano and Megumi were bickering quietly while Misao alternated between speaking to Yahiko and Aoshi. Aoshi looked as stoic as ever, but Yahiko was looking a bit frazzled, '_I guess the five or more hours on horseback with Misao is starting to get to him_' Finally I turned my attention to the quiet woman seated beside me. Kaoru was staring intently around herself with a small smile upon her lips. Leaning over I said softly,

"You look content. May I ask why you are smiling?"

Without looking up at me she replied, "they remind me of my family. It's been a long time since I've had a meal with friends." Suddenly she glanced up as if realizing for the first time who she was speaking to "Oh I'm so sorry forgive my informality…" she stuttered trailing off, quickly she looked down hiding her face.

"It's alright, "I said trying not to make her more uncomfortable, "It must be hard for you to be away from them, I'm sorry" hesitantly she looked up meeting my gaze then she spoke softly,

"No, I am used to it my family has been dead for ten years." Then smiling sadly her blue eyes seemed to look past me into some long faded memory. "We used to all eat together. My mother and father even my little sister… it was like this in a way, they all must be good friends of yours." Watching her intently I could almost see her shake free from the clinging mists of memory and turn her attention to me fully.

"Yes they are. They have each accepted me and each other as an extended family of sorts. Each of them is here by choice." Surprised she said,

"What of their families or villages?"

"Mostly dead, Megumi's in a fire, Aoshi and Misao's through old age and war. Sano and Yahiko are orphans." I smiled sadly," I think you will find that you fit in well with this group." Smiling timidly she looked around the table "Thank you Kenshin" she replied before tuning back to her half finished bowl of rice. Turning to mine I began to eat with a half ear turned to the conversations around me. Sano had pulled Kaoru into his and Megumi's conversation. Watching her out of the corner of my eye I was amazed. _'This girl has just been taken from the only home she has ever known and yet here she sits laughing and talking with the men and women who stole her away.' _


	8. Chapter 8

Ch 8

Combat Tactics

After the meal Megumi and I walked toward our rooms. Kenshin, Aoshi, and Sano had stayed behind to discuss some new information that Aoshi's network of spy's in the capital had uncovered. Misao and Yahiko had fallen asleep right at the table, but since they both roomed here in the fortress Aoshi and Sano would make sure they got to their rooms. The hallways were empty and dim the moon light coming in from the windows illuminated bright patches on the floor. We had stopped just outside of Megumi's rooms. Sleepily she glanced over at me,

"Kaoru think you'll be okay to get to your rooms alone?" she asked punctuating her question with a yawn.

"Sure I'll be fine; you just get a good night's sleep." I assured her, nodding she waved sleepily as she stepped into her rooms and shut the door.

Turning away I began walking toward my rooms. Honestly I was glad that she hadn't insisted on walking me to my rooms it made me feel like I was helpless unable to take care of myself. _'Oh well she means well'_ I thought. My mind was buzzing with questions and I needed some time to myself. Gently I opened my door. Stepping inside I left the door ajar so that light from the hallway would illuminate my dark room. Then I picked up the candle on the table by the door. Megumi had shown me where the flint and steel were kept. They were right inside the drawer of the table. Lighting the candle I closed the door. The light from the candle cast long flickering shadows on the walls. The eerie lighting seemed to make the flowers and twisting vines of the tapestries on the walls come alive. Walking into the bedroom I carefully lit the candle on the bed side table and carried the first candle back to the door, blowing it out I carefully made my way back into the bedroom by the light from the other candle. Walking in, I shut the door to the bedroom. Quietly I padded over to the clothing chest and changed back into the cream sleeping yukata.

Adjusting the cool material I settled myself onto the edge of the bed. Staring into the flame I pulled my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around myself. For a moment I merely watched the candle flame dance as though brushed by invisible breezes. Then I gathered my thought and began the think back over the events of the evening. Foremost in my mind was a commanding man with flame red hair and strange amber eyes. My first encounter with Kenshin had been unlike any thing I had ever imagined. All the stories of a brutal and power hungry lord conflicted sharply with the man I had met tonight. He had an aura of power but he seemed kindly and his eyes were ageless. Gentle amber pools they seemed to hold an unfathomable sadness.

At first I had been terrified when Megumi had brought me sit beside Kenshin. And when he addressed me my heart had frozen in my chest. Then gazing into Kenshin's amber eyes I had felt all the tension drain from my frame. His eyes radiated a calm assurance. He had been genuinely kind. The friendly atmosphere combined with everyone teasing camaraderie had quickly put me at ease. The strangest part of the evening had been my quiet conversation with Kenshin. I had been so absorbed in watching everyone interact just like family that when he spoke to me I had told him honestly about my family. I smiled now remembering how flustered I had been when I realized how informally I had addressed him. And strangely he had understood exactly how to reassure me. I struggled to reconcile the two contradictory impressions I had of him. Who was real? Kenshin or the Battousai. Silently I asked myself '_how could a man like Kenshin order the destruction of so many innocent lives?_' snuffing the candle I uncurled from me fetal position and crawled under the thick coverlet my mind still wandering in circles. My thoughts grew more and more disjointed as sleep overcame me. My last coherent thought involved a pair of gentle amber eyes and flame red hair…

* * *

Quietly Sano, Aoshi, and I wished a sleepy Megumi and Kaoru goodnight. Yahiko had fallen asleep his head on the table while Misao was asleep leaning against Aoshi. Gently he eased his arm around her till she was tucked securely against his chest. Then he quietly began to speak,

"Battousai my spies in the capital say the political leaders are trying to leave the city and the emperor suspects a plot."

"Like rats on a sinking ship," Sano said disgusted

"Our plans are not advancing quickly enough to capture the city," Aoshi continued. Rubbing my face I replied,

"I know; the time and energy spent trying to keep them from having a place to escape to might all be for naught if they escape before we surround the City of Kings." Sano began to speak,

"Perhaps if we moved our net closer in, to only two or three miles around the capital that would speed up our plans and we would avoid any other villages or towns." I nodded thinking over his suggestion. All in all it was a good tactical move, though it would require my armies to weed out the various pockets of resistance after the capital was taken this plan would give us the time to do so. If enough of the main political leaders escaped the resistance would be too strong to put down without a long civil war. If we could capture the most powerful leaders the resistance would remain weak. I nodded to Sano saying,

"You're right we can not afford for any to escape the capital." Aoshi nodded in agreement as he carefully extracted a detailed map from his black coat without disturbing the sleeping Misao. Reaching across the table I took the map and spread it out atop the table using some cups and Sano's sake glass as weights on the corners. Reaching into my trouser pocket I pulled out a small cloth bag. Upending it onto the table I dumped out a mixture of black and red chips. Studying the map I could see the three bridges that crossed the large canal system that surrounded the City of Kings. There were four gates through which one could enter the city. The northern and southern gates were the largest. The eastern and western gates were minor and the roads leading from then had to first pass over the canal system on a narrow bridge. It was those two bridges that my army would block off. Grabbing a handful of red chips which represented a group of fifteen swordsmen and five archers; I placed four of these at the western and eastern bridges. Then I turned my attention to the large northern road. Grabbing a black piece which stood for the left flank of my army, over three hundred men divided into twenty man units lead by a captain who took orders from Sano. I placed it about two miles out from the city along the northern road, effectively cutting off any traffic into or out of the capital. The eighty samurai for each of the lesser bridges were already in place. We had been trickling the men in over the past month. Standing Sano walked over so he was viewing the map from my side. Studying it he said,

"That should work; it's only a slight modification on the original plan of attack correct?"

"yes," I replied, "I placed more of our men on the main road here" gesturing I grabbed another black, chip which represented the right flank of my army a group of three hundred lead by me, I placed on the opposite side of the city on the southern road along with two red chips and added two red chips to Sano's flank on the northern road. Then I began to explain the new groupings to Sano. "We will attack at night as we placed before. Unlike before I moved two units of swordsmen from the eastern and western bridge combining them with the two main flanks, and separated the left and right flank leaving us each in command of 340 men. I will personally lead the southern troops. We will capture the city in a pincer formation, your flank coming down the northern causeway and mine coming up from the south. This will force them to split the imperial army." I explained gesturing at the groupings of men. Nodding Aoshi spoke,

"Yes that will be a very effective maneuver. It will force their main general Shishio to split his troops and according to reports his second in command is next to useless in the field. That will give us a definite advantage over their superior numbers." Still studying the map I asked,

"And none of the other lords seem inclined to help or hinder us correct?"

"Yes, they are waiting to see who emerges the strongest before pledging their help to either side." He replied.

"Cowards" I heard Sano mutter. Ignoring him I asked,

"And the Imperial army's numbers hold strong at 980?"

"According to our last report there have been a good number of deserters they have around 900 men; at only 840 we are still out numbered but I believe our tactical advantage will win the day."

"As we all do Aoshi" I replied as I rose from the table and walked to the small chest in the corner. Kneeling down I opened it and removes a few sheaves of paper as well as a couple ink brushes and an inkwell. Returning to the table I began to copy down the map. With Aoshi and Sano's help it was eventually decided that our armies would march in one week. It would take an additional 7 to 10 days to reach the capital. Quickly Aoshi and I began to pen down orders. He had moved Misao so that she was sleeping with her head resting on his lap this way he could write without disturbing her sleep. There was much to be done in order for the army to be prepared to march in one week.

I was in the middle of an order to the quarter master for supplies when Sano looked up quickly from the map he had been studying, searching for the best rout of travel to the capital; an odd marriage of speed and stealth were necessary if we were to reach the capital.

"Battousai it will be nearly impossible to move 700 men and supplies to the capital without the royal outposts in Kapta and here in Remala," Sano said pointing out the towns, "noticing our troops and sending messengers ahead to the capital." I nodded the thought had occurred to me,

"Perhaps we could separate our flanks and come upon the two towns simultaneously and wipe out the outpost." I suggested testing their reactions Aoshi shook his head

"Same problem, 340 men are no less visible than 680 you should send a small force of elite men ahead of the army to take out the outposts." Thinking it over I knew he was correct, but I couldn't help but feel that he and Sano were keeping something from me. Their answers were synchronized quite well, but the fact that Aoshi's information had come "so suddenly", and yet Sano and he had already prepared contingency plans…

"Hmm" I said glancing at them suspiciously

"I guess I will have to choose two elite forces then." Aoshi and Sano nodded enthusiastically turning to Sano I asked,

"Will the army be able to travel efficiently for about five days without your presence?"

"Well yes," he said, "but won't you be here to direct them?" he asked worriedly. I smiled wickedly,

"Well of course not. Since all of my carefully laid plans have somehow fallen through simultaneously…" I trailed of meaningfully, "I'll just have to lead one of the groups going to Remala and Kapta."

"What!" Sano exclaimed, "You need backup and and somebody-" he managed stuttered before Aoshi interjected,

"Battousai our usual advance force doesn't have enough man power to split up and still take out two imperial outposts."

"Why of course we don't that's why Sano Yahiko and I will choose a few select men and attack Kapta while you Misao and a few men of your choosing will attack the outpost in Remala." When I finished they both looked at each other significantly then turning to me Sano said,

"You knew this would happen didn't you."

"Perhaps" Glaring he continued

"You knew Aoshi and I wouldn't agree to massacre civilians so you concocted this idiotic plan to to…" he trailed of frustrated. Nodding I answered him,

"Yes, I knew, and though I still think my plan is more effective there will be less resentment toward our take over. Some civilians may choose to join us this way." Aoshi just shook his head

"Battousai what of all the fields we've burned and trees we've cut down wasn't that all a terrible waste?"

"Not at all" I countered, "the wood will go toward various things a large mobile army needs and by burning fields near the capital we have made it that much harder for them to feed their own men." Sano gapped at me,

"When did you realize it?" he asked

"It was all just too convenient. Aoshi's information, your suggestion to tighten our attack…" shaking his head he said

"I give up, but at least this way the men will be happier." Hearing this I immediately sobered,

"They shouldn't be, though my original plan was very unorthodox it would have prevented the long bloody attack on the City of Kings and the war that will ensue even after the capital is taken." Aoshi replied

"They are simple soldiers Kenshin, they don't think long term like you do, they can't bring themselves to massacre civilians because they see each life as being important and significant. They don't see that those lives would probably be lost anyway in the ensuing civil war." Sano looked uncomfortable at those words finally he said

"But at least we would not be directly responsible for their deaths"

"That is true" I replied before turning their attention to more mundane things like traveling logistics for an army 700 strong.

* * *

Hi I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. I'm sorry about the confusing battle tactics so to make things clearer I created a map. If you wish to view the map mentioned in this chapter it will be posted on my profile temproarily replacing my Ellith. Hopefully upon viewing it you will experience an "Oh... that was obivous" moment. If that does not occur because the map becomes formated oddly then not then feel free to send me a message and I will send you an unformated scan of the map.^_^

PS: Yes, I know I said that this story takes place in Japan, but no, none of the afore mentioned towns and cities actually exist in Japan... or anywhere for that matter... to the best of my knowledge... I think

Disclaimer: sadly i don't own Rouruni Kenshin if you havn't figured that out by now then I feel that it is necessary to ask, Why are you reading Fanfic?


	9. Chapter 9

Ch 9

Challenge

When I opened my eyes in the morning all that registered on my tired mind was that it was very, very, dark. Groaning I rolled over. _'Why on earth am I even awake before dawn?_' and then it dawned on me. First of all I was way too comfortable and second of all if I had rolled over in my futon I would have fallen off. Suddenly I wrenched myself into a sitting position scattering blankets and pillows '_so it hadn't been a dream_' I was lying on a large bed in the center of a dimly lit room. Disentangling myself from the blankets I quietly slipped out of the bed. As I walked across the room I clutched the pale cream yukata I was wearing tightly around my body. Then I knelt down before the clothing chest and digging around within I searched until I found a simple pale yellow kimono that tied with a solid red obi. It was the least ornate of all the kimonos within the chest. Gently I slipped the thin yukata off and pulled on the yellow kimono. Arranging the kimono to wrap my body snugly I tied the obi securing the cloth in place. Then I softly padded into the washroom wondering what would be expected of me today. '_I can't very well stay in my rooms all day…hmm, maybe I'll go find Megumi, she'll know_.' that in mind I hurriedly scrubbed my face. Walking out of the washroom I stepped back into the dimly lit sitting room. Glancing around I frowned thinking '_What's with these heavy tapestries? They block out all the light_' carefully I walked the perimeter of the darkened room running my hand along the wall. I soon felt the slight indention indicating a window. Reaching toward the edge of one of the tapestries I shoved it aside exposing a plain set of wooden shutters. Carefully holding aside the wall hanging I pushed open the shutters and looked out into early morning light. My window faced out into the front courtyard. Over the wall I could see the valley that I had ridden through earlier. It was carpeted with tents and I could see the silvery glint of the stream running through the middle of camp. Gazing up toward the opposite side of the valley I could see the sun just beginning to peak over the ridge. Surveying the sky I could see a film of clouds to the north. '_I guess it won't be sunny for long_' I thought. Satisfied I turned back to the sitting room. Moving some chairs I managed to prop the thick wall hanging back from the window. Finally I stood back and surveyed my work. The sun had fully cleared the opposite ridge though the encroaching clouds were loaming closer and the camp below was beginning to awaken. Softly I smiled '_well, if my position here allots me to my own set of rooms they must not care too much if I redecorate._' When if finished I hurried back into the still dusky bedroom and poked through the clothing chest. Finally at the very bottom I found a single leather hair tie. Hurriedly I tried to finger brush my hair into a pony tail but at waist length my hair has never cooperated with me. Frustrated I hurried over to the washroom and snatched up a brush then managed to successfully pull my hair into the desired pony tail.

Now that I was presentable I quietly slipped out of my rooms and glancing quickly toward Kenshin's rooms I hurried down the hallway. When I reached Megumi's rooms she was just closing the door behind her. Turning toward me she said,

"Oh, Kaoru I didn't realize you were up. I was just going to look for you."

"Thanks, it was a bit awkward just hanging around in my rooms. I figured I'd come see if you were up." I replied

"Oh that's no problem; and if I'm not awake, feel free to hang out in the infirmary." I nodded,

"Ok" I followed her as we walked across the hall and into the infirmary. I sat down on the edge of one of the cots and Megumi headed over to some jars on the self. As she pulled a couple down onto the counter she said,

"We'll go eat breakfast in a bit. I just need to make a powder. I promised the cook some for her headaches." Pulling out a small mortar and pestle she began to grind the various leaves and roots into a fine powder. As I watched her work I decided to ask her the question that had been bugging me since I left my village.

"Megumi, umm, after we eat do you think it would be possible for me to get a hold of a bokken?" looking up from the mortar she stopped grinding,

"A bokken? You are a swordswoman?" she asked I shifted in my seat and replied,

"Well, yes I have always practiced in the mornings and I was wondering if that would be okay here…" I trailed off Megumi was looking at me incredulously

"You are a swordswoman and you left your sword behind?" cautiously I nodded replying

"The elders thought it best I come unarmed."

"Oh that's nonsense!" she said briskly, "Sano would have been fine as long as you weren't wearing it. In fact he probably would have gotten quite a kick out of it." She eyed me carefully "I have yet to meet a warrior of any kind who would leave their weapons behind lightly… I'll see what I can do." The she returned her attention to her mortar. When she finished she carefully poured the fine powder onto the center of a small slip of paper. Then setting aside the mortar she folded the paper up so it would hold the powder and slipped it into a pocket hidden away in her sleeve. Smiling she turned to me and said,

"We'll talk to Sano and see what we can come up with, okay… oh wait he probably won't be up for an hour or two hmm… oh well let's just go eat and figure out the logistics later."

"Thank you Megumi" I said gratefully

"nonsense," she replied as we walked down the hall," we can't have you falling out of practice." She said teasingly. Soon we came to the room we had eaten in last night. Walking in, I saw that Yahiko and Misao were already seated. They were sitting side by side on the far edge of the table. Looking up as we entered Misao exclaimed,

"Good morning, Megumi, hi Kaoru, What took you so long? I mean me'n Yahiko couldn't eat without you." I smiled listening to her happy chatter. I glanced over at Yahiko; he seemed to be intent on ignoring Misao. I sat down near Misao with Megumi sitting on my right. Then turning to Misao I asked,

"Where are Aoshi and Sano?"

"Oh, they're asleep. They'll probably sleep for another hour or so. They stayed up real late last night with Kenshin." She grinned and began telling Megumi a strange story involving a snake and one of the maids. Speaking to Yahiko I said,

"So do you know when we eat?" jumping to his feet he said,

"Oh we were just waiting for you two. I'll go tell Tsubame to bring in the food." Walking to the door he left the room, headed to the kitchen I assumed. About three minutes later he came back in. he was holding a pot of tea and cups. Behind him a young girl around his age walked in carrying 4 bowls of eggs and rice. After she set the bowls on the table Megumi pulled the small paper packet out of her sleeve and asked,

"Tsubame would you bring this to the cook, it's some powder for her headaches." She nodded and taking the packet headed toward the door just as she opened it she turned saying,

"Oh, Yahiko thanks for helping me with the drinks."

"Sure, sure it's no problem" he muttered she smiled shyly at him and walked out. As soon as the door closed Misao began teasing Yahiko,

"Awww! Yahiko's got a girlfriend" she said in a sing song voice. Blushing fiercely he exclaimed,

"I do not!" Megumi and I laughed at their banter. Looking down at my bowl I grabbed my chopsticks and began to eat. Internally I sighed, the food was amazing. '_I fail when it comes to food._' Soon I had finished eating and sat back listening to the chatter going on around me. Just after we had all finished eating Sano wandered in carrying a bowl of rice. Yawning hugely he sat down beside Yahiko and sleepily bid us good morning. Then he poured himself a cup of tea and tucked into his meal. He finished his bowl quickly. Glancing up at us he said,

"You know you guys didn't have to wait around for me."

"Its fine," Misao said, "we were still here. We just finished eating. Oh Sano, do you know if Aoshi's up?"

"Yeah, he's coming. I passed him on my way here from the kitchen." And then he made the strangest comment, "Oh, its cloudy today so Battousai will probably be in here soon as well." Just as he said this Aoshi and Kenshin walked in each cradling a bowl in their hands; sitting down on the opposite side of the table, they bid us an absent minded good morning. Both Sano and Aoshi looked unbearably tired but Kenshin seemed as alert as ever. Pondering this peculiar detail I began to speak to Megumi and Misao about getting a few more leather hair ties.

* * *

It was overcast this morning which meant I could move around in the daylight without a heavy cowl. I had just gone to the kitchens to grab some breakfast and Tsubame had informed me that everyone was still in the meeting room. On my way over I had run into Aoshi. Last night he, Sano, and I had finalized our plans and orders had been sent out. The only thing left to do was to select the two groups that would move ahead of the main army and attack Remala and Kapta. As we opened the door to the meeting room I could see Megumi, Kaoru, Misao, Yahiko and Sano had finished eating. So sitting down I had tucked into my food with zeal. I was considering who I wanted to include in the small group that would accompany Sano and I in Kapta when I heard Megumi say,

"Sano, did you know that Kaoru is a swordswoman?" Looking up I saw a surprised look flash across Sano's features as he said,

"You practice Kendo? But you didn't bring anything with you…" he trailed of questioningly. Kaoru smiled apologetically,

"Well you see," she began, "the village elders thought it would be best if I left my bokken behind… umm, would it be okay if I continued to practice here…" she trailed off noticing all the stares she was getting before continuing, "I know its odd for a woman to practice kendo, but you see it's a family tradition." She stopped and glanced about the table. It was Sano who recovered first.

"Well, sure I'll see what I can find, huh I wouldn't have pegged you for a fighter but looks can be deceiving," he said grinning, "Anyway it must have been hard to leave behind your bokken." She smiled relieved,

"Yes, but if I can still practice here then it's fine." I studied her closely now I could see that her petite frame was actually quite lean and well muscled. Interested I wondered if she was any good. Then I spoke,

"Kaoru-dono what style do you practice?" looking toward me she met my gaze and replied, "The Kamiya Kasshin style, it was my father's school before… well anyhow now I carry on the style, I had a small group of students for a while, but the elders did not approve of a woman teaching kendo." She explained. I nodded; personally I was amazed she had even attempted to continue the school alone.

"Perhaps we could see you practice after this." I said she smiled and nodded happily saying,

"That would be great. Thank you Kenshin." Then Misao grabbed her full attention,

"Kaoru, why didn't you say before you could do kendo? That's so cool. I throw kunai they're much better than swords, no offense." Then she began pointing out various people around the table and explaining their weapons of choice. "Aoshi, he fights with twin kadochi's, they're awesome, and he's also a kempoist. Yahiko is learning the sword; he works mostly with a bokken. Sano used to have a large Zanbatou but now he just relies on his fists, he's got a really wicked technique called the Futae no Kiwami. Then there's Kenshin he fights with a katana in the Hiten Mitsurugi style." With that she finished her narrative and began speaking to Aoshi. Kaoru was looking about herself with a calculating eye; soon her gaze came to rest upon me. Staring back into her dark blue eyes I could see she was trying to asses my skill just as I had attempted earlier. I had just finished eating. Finally I spoke,

"So Kaoru-dono who will you spar with? Yahiko isn't prepared for one on one sparing yet so you can spar with either Aoshi or myself." I grinned wondering who she would choose.

"Hmm," she said a sly look entering her gaze "I've never spared with someone wielding double blades so I guess I will spar with you Kenshin." she smiled and watched my face closely for a reaction. I nodded '_this will be interesting_' I thought. Then I said,

"Well if you all are finished then we can go to the dojo now" then to Megumi I said,

"Why don't you help Kaoru-dono find some clothing she can spar in, and then you both can meet us in the dojo?" Quickly they both got up. Kaoru was smiling widely in anticipation, leaving the room they closed the door behind them. Then rest of us headed toward the dojo. '_It will be interesting to see how good she is first hand._' I thought as I walked into the dojo and selected a bokken.

* * *

As we walked down the hall way Megumi grinned over at me saying,

"You know I don't think anyone has had the guts to spar with Himura one on one since he trounced Aoshi. This will be interesting. Oh and don't worry he'll use a bokken so you won't be at a disadvantage." Smiling back at her I said,

"Thanks Megumi. I hope I won't get beat too fast, but either way this will be fun." With that we both walked into the infirmary. Quickly she headed over to the drawers and pulled out a needle and black thread. Then she grabbed my hand and said,

"Here let's go steal one of Himura's old wide leg trousers. He'll never notice they're gone." Reluctantly I allowed myself to be pulled down the hall into his rooms. As we entered his rooms Megumi released my hand and left me standing beside the open door, then she walked farther into his quarters. I could hear her rummaging around. Looking about I was intrigued. His rooms were even more heavily darkened than mine. The tapestries were dark and gloomy scenes of forests at night. Just then Megumi emerged from the room she had entered triumphantly holding up what looked like a large pair of navy blue wide leg pants.

"Hah, I knew he had some," she exclaimed, "here let's head to your rooms and try these on." Then she bustled past me into the hall and closing the door behind me, grabbed my hand and she proceeded to pull me laughing down the hall toward my rooms. As we entered the sitting room she released my hand and glanced around at my redecorating.

"These rooms were a bit stuffy weren't they" she guessed

"Yeah, I figured I'd brighten the place up a bit." She nodded smiling before shooing me ahead of her into my bed room.

"Here try these on while I go get a shirt of mine you can wear." Still grinning she hurried out of my rooms. Removing my obi I pulled on the pants. They were a dark navy blue with heavy pleats and split legs. Around my waist they were very loose and the legs dragged on the floor but the difference in height was slight, only about four or five inches.' _strange I always assumed Kenshin was much larger than me'. _Soon Megumi hurried back in with a plain white gi. Handing it to me she closed the door leaving me in the room alone. Sliding out of the kimono I slid my arms into the gi and tried unsuccessfully to roll the pants up enough for me to walk. Then Megumi knocked on the door,

"Can I come in?" I heard her say.

"Sure! I'm decent." I cried. Coming in she laughed softly at the sight of me standing in a white gi, trying to hold up a pair of oversized pants, hurrying over she rolled the waist a few times and pulling out her needle and thread put a few stitches into the waistband to hold the roll, then she pulled in the sides and stitched them in place so the pants were more snug on my waist. Standing back she surveyed her work,

"Perfect you look just fine" then she handed me a sash, "here tie this around your waist to help keep those up. Now let's not keep them waiting." With that we both hurried out of the room. _'Wow!' I thought 'I never would have imagined sparring with Battousai.' _Before amending the thought '_and not dieing._'

* * *

Hi everyone! I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. Now I know that most of you have nothing to do right now so...please click that lovley review button and respond. Please^_^ you know you want to can't you hear it? It's calling you. Your mouse is being drawn toward the button. You want to review

Disclaimer: sadly in the time that has passed since my last update I have not bought and therefore still do not own Rurouni Kenshin. (tears)


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10

A True Test of Strength

After about ten minutes Kaoru and Megumi entered the dojo. When I looked up and saw Kaoru I began to chuckle 'only_ Megumi would have dressed her in my pants._' I thought. Kaoru was smiling, a fierce look in her blue eyes. Meeting my gaze she strode toward me. Free from her skirts I could see that she moved with the balanced feline grace of an experienced warrior. Even the oversized clothing could not hide the practiced ease with which she moved. Then she spoke,

"Now, Kenshin where can I get a hold of a bokken?"

"Just over there" I replied gesturing toward the rack behind me. Nodding she walked toward the rack and selected a bokken. Coming back to the center of the room she inspected the bokken giving it a few experimental swings.

"Kenshin can you give me five minutes to stretch and warm up?" she asked

"Of course," I replied, and then I motioned to the others and leaned back against the far wall to give her space. Closing her eyes she began to go through a complex series of moves gradually increasing in speed. She flowed seamlessly from one move to another in a ceaseless dance. From what I could see the Kamiya Kasshin style seemed to be based on defense. After Kaoru had gone through her warm up she stopped and looked at me expectantly standing I moved to join her at the center of the room.

"We should begin" she said

"If you wish" then I motioned toward Aoshi saying "Aoshi will mediate." Moving to stand across from her I bowed and she returned the gesture, "We will spar for one round. The first to subdue their opponent wins." She nodded a predatory smile on her face. Aoshi stepped back and raised one arm. We both tensed minutely, dropping his arm he said,

"Begin!" rushing forward I began the match; Kaoru met my charge head on. I refrained from using my full strength or any of my advanced techniques. I wanted to test her abilities not crush her in one powerful attack. For a few minutes we traded blows, blocking, dodging, and even taking a few; which in itself was surprising I had honestly not expected her to actually land any hits. As I studied her movements I realized what it was her true strength lay in her innate speed. It was nothing near god speed, but she still managed to slip past my defenses a few times. I was also impressed by her strength even with her small frame her blows had weight behind them. Soon we were both breathing hard. I had to admire her technique it was a very effective defense, constantly adapting to the opponents movements. The others had begun to comment. I heard Yahiko whisper,

"Huh, I didn't think Kaoru would hold out this long, but she's good." At that moment Kaoru smiled thinly and began to execute a complex series of moves. I had to move quickly to meet each of her attacks. Truly for her size her stamina was staggering we had been sparing for over ten minutes and none of her blows had lessened in strength. Then I began a rain of blows, testing her defenses from every angle. She was good quite good. She had somehow managed to meet me hit for hit, but it was time to end this. Directly from the rain of blows I began a powerful stroke directed at the handle of her bokken. When they collided her bokken flew from her hands, and then before she could react I stepped closer my arm snaking around her waist pulling her against my chest, my bokken resting at her throat. I felt her tense,

"Do you yield?" I asked. Breathlessly she replied,

"Willingly". Releasing her I stepped back and bowed respectfully. Good-naturedly she returned the courtesy. Then I heard a round of applause from the audience I had temporarily forgotten. Turning I heard Misao say,

"That was awesome! Kaoru, you held out for a long time!" Kaoru grinned at her saying "Yeah, but I still lost."

"Who cares? It's sparring and anyway everyone loses to Kenshin. He's a beast." Misao added with a cheeky grin directed at me. After everyone had finished their congratulations I spoke,

"You are very talented Kaoru-dono." She smiled,

"No, but thank you for allowing me to spar with someone of your skill" I nodded acknowledging her statement,

"Not at all, you underestimate your own skill. Now I assume you will want to go get changed and then there is something we all must discuss." Nodding she and Megumi headed for the door Megumi said,

"We'll meet you in the meeting room in a bit." Then as the door closed behind them I heard Megumi shout,

"Oh, by the way Himura, she's keeping your pants!" I couldn't help but laugh. Gesturing toward the others I headed to my quarters while they went to the meeting room.

* * *

As Megumi and I headed to my rooms she chattered happily, but I was thinking. That had been an eye opening experience. Throughout the entire fight Kenshin had held back a lot. And even so his strength easily outmatched anything I had ever seen. Each blow I had blocked had made my arms tingle with the shock from attempting to absorb the energy. And he had been holding back, even as he disarmed me his movements had been calculated and careful only increasing the speed and strength of his attack slightly. His movements were also very methodical. It seemed as though he were trying to slow down, but when I had pressed his defenses he had quickly accelerated blocking me with ease. I had no doubts that had Kenshin wished he could have obliterated me. I also had learned a few things about his technique. He was capable of executing god speed techniques and his Hiten Mitsurugi was designed to fight and take down multiple opponents at once. One on one it was even more devastating; even holding back he was one of the best swordsmen I had ever seen. I simply couldn't wrap my mind how strong he would be if he chose to use any of his more advanced techniques or true strength.

By now we were in my rooms. Quickly Megumi released the stitches on my pants so I could get out of them before leaving the room saying,

"You get changed and I'll find a washcloth for your face" I nodded and grabbed the yellow kimono pulling it on I was tying the red obi when Megumi came in with a damp cloth. Handing it to me she walked over and scooped up the discarded pants and gi. Settling onto the edge of the bed she began to stitch the waist so that the pants would fit me permanently. After cleaning my face I felt much better and turning to her I said,

"Oh, Megumi you didn't have to fix those I could have gotten it."

"Really it's no problem. Oh, and keep the shirt. You'll probably use it more than I do anyway." She replied. Then Curious I asked,

"Hey, Megumi, Kenshin was testing me wasn't he?" Glancing up from her hem she said,

"That's just Himura. He feels that everyone has a purpose and use, and usually he finds it. Look at Yahiko. He tried to steal from Himura but Himura just took him in and is training him to be a swordsman."

"Oh, so who is Yahiko's kendo master?" I asked interested. Megumi returned her attention to her stitching and answered,

"Well, since Himura refused to teach him he's just helped Yahiko learn a few basic stances so we're still looking for a permanent master for him."

"I see" I replied thinking, '_I can understand why Kenshin would be reluctant to pass on the Hiten Mitsurugi_'. After sparing with him I could see that the Hiten Mitsurugi was a very destructive technique '_not something I would teach to others_' Just then Megumi finished fixing the pants and hopping up off the bed she said,

"Now let's go see what Kenshin wants to tell us."

"Hey, Megumi"

"Yes" she replied

"Thanks for the shirt" I said with a smile.

"No problem" she said as we walked down the hall to the meeting room. Just as we came to the door I saw Kenshin entering. Seeing us he stood back and held the door motioning for us to smiled and nodded her thanks. I quietly said,

"Thank you Kenshin." As I walked past I heard him murmur

"You are most welcome Kaoru-dono."

* * *

After the meeting I had spent the afternoon with Megumi. We had been labeling and packing various medicines and herbs into large wicker packs. Now I was lying in bed thinking back over what had been said at the meeting. The army was moving out in one week. Kenshin and the others were going ahead of the army to attack Remala and Kapta. They would leave in five days. What was to become of me? Was I expected to join the advance force? I am no killer. I wield the sword that protects life. Or did they expect me to stay behind with Megumi and the main army… turning over I tried to find a comfortable position, but sleep eluded me. My brain kept returning to the tangled nest of problems my life had become. Sighing I got up. My bedroom was much too dark and stuffy. If I couldn't sleep I might as well get some air. So retying my yukata more securely I walked into the sitting room. Quietly I dragged one of the stools over to the window. Sitting down I looked up and contemplated the night sky. The clouds from earlier had cleared out leaving a clear view of the stars. Tonight the moon was a pale sliver on the horizon; the sky a midnight blue and there were so many stars that their light seemed to give a dusky lavender luminescence to the surrounding landscape. So turning over the many questions on my mind I stared up into the endless expanse of starlit sky.

* * *

The night was cool and clear. Some how I couldn't bring myself to remain indoors on a night like this. So setting aside the paperwork I was attempting to look over in my study I walked out of the fortress and began to wander aimlessly about the courtyard. Normally I would have left the fortress altogether and walked under the comforting gloom of the trees far from others, but with the army camping outside this was impossible. So I patrolled the grounds, slowly working my way around the entire fortress. As I padded softly forward I carefully considered the problem Kaoru presented. Although she had been absorbed into my closely knit inner circle she had no true place yet. She had the skills of a warrior but a peaceful nature. Even the style she practiced was one based on defense. And somehow I knew she wouldn't take well to being left behind with Megumi. Kaoru was a doer but she had yet to find a niche for herself amongst the fighters… at last I came to a decision of sorts. I would ask her to teach Yahiko the Kamiya Kasshin style. I hoped that she would feel more comfortable once she had something to do with her time. As for the rest I would wait and see what path she chose for herself. I was nearing the completion of my meandering circuit when I saw her. The starlight seemed to guild her milky skin, her eyes gazing into the heavens. Silently watching her I realized that her eyes appeared to absorb the light of the stars they seemed to be luminescent pockets of night. She was leaning on her window sill gazing upward. Looking for all the world like an ethereal creature of night. Her motionless face seemed to contemplate the questions of the universe. Softly I moved closer. Stopping about ten feet from her window I spoke in a soft voice not wishing to startle her,

"Good evening Kaoru-dono." slowly she pulled her gaze from the heavens and met my amber gaze. Startled she tensed minutely before relaxing and smiling softly at me

"Good evening, Kenshin. Sleep could not find me tonight so I came out here to see the stars." She replied

"They are beautiful aren't they?" I said

"Yes," she said softly, "they are. Did you have trouble sleeping as well?" laughing softly I said,

"You could say that." A small smile still gracing her lips she turned her gaze from me and returned to studying the stars.

"I have always found that all worries seem much less pressing when one in contemplates them in a calm and quiet place. Wouldn't you agree?" as I studied her profile I replied,

"Yes the night always imparts a sense of tranquility." She was quite lovely in this lighting. Perhaps a human would have been straining to see through the shadows but for me the lavender light of the stars is by far more revealing than the scorching light of day.

"Kaoru-dono" I said quietly,

"Hmm," she turned to look at me, "yes, Kenshin?"

"Would you be willing to teach Yahiko the Kamiya Kasshin style?" silently she gazed at me her midnight blue eyes seemed to search the depths of my soul. Finally she spoke,

"Yahiko wishes to learn the Hiten Mitsurugi style, doesn't he." She stated not doubting the truth for a moment. I simply nodded, "and you do not wish to pass on such a powerful and destructive technique." Again I nodded. Her gaze was piercing. Finally satisfied she turned gaze to the heavens one again, "He deserves a chance to learn the sword, but Kenshin you should know, I teach the sword that protects life." She fell silent awaiting my judgment her gaze fixed on the stars. Quietly I spoke,

"Though I believe that the way of the sword is a way of violence I feel that your defensive style and philosophy will serve him well." She nodded,

"If that is how you feel, then I would be honored to pass on the Kamiya Kasshin style to Yahiko." Finally she turned her blue eyes back to me and whispered,

"Thank you, Kenshin" I smiled softly and silently padded closer to lean against the wall beside the window and said,

"Everyone deserves to have a place." We both fell quiet. And I realized something; Kaoru understood from the beginning what I was trying to do. She intuitively understood so much… A companionable silence seemed to grow around as we studied the stars late into the night.

* * *

Hi everyone! Thank you to everyone who has left a review I apreciate it. and if you haven't please do, just to let me know your still reading ^_^

Disclaimer: I own Rurouni Kenshin... What you don't believe me? that hurts it really does...


	11. Chapter 11

Ch 11

Lessons

When I woke in the morning I could tell that it was after dawn. I had stayed up late last night. Kenshin and I had watched the stars until the calm atmosphere had calmed my fears and sleep had caught up with me. A strange sense of peace had settled over me. Kenshin had noticed my weariness and had bid me good night. Rolling over in bed I thought back, had it really only been two days? So much had happened. Most surprising of all was how quickly everyone here had accepted me, or how quickly I had come to trust them.

Pondering this unexpected turn of events I began to get ready for the day. This morning I dressed in a lovely lavender gray kimono that tied with a richly colored purple-red obi. Then grabbing one of the leather ties Megumi had gotten me I went into the washroom and cleaned my face. Picking up a brush I attacked my tangled black hair. After working through a few particularly difficult snarls I pulled my now smooth hair into a ponytail. Walking back into the sitting room I glanced out the window. The clear skies of last night had been replaced by a thick blanket of roiling thunder heads. Silently I padded over to the open window and closed it securely, a precaution should it rain. Considering the green tinge of the clouds and the dry lightning illuminating the sky it seemed a good possibility. I turned away thinking, '_monsoons are early this year._' The rain would make slow going for the army.

As I walked out of my rooms I stopped and poked my head into the infirmary, looking for Megumi. It was empty so from there I headed for the meeting room. Opening the door I stepped inside the room. Everyone but Megumi was already present. Hearing me enter Kenshin glanced up from his conversation with Sano and motioned for me to come and take a seat beside him. Quietly I padded over wishing Misao, Yahiko, and Aoshi a good morning. As I took my seat, Kenshin, still speaking to Sano about a few of the men that he wanted to take with their group to Kapta, reached over and slid a steaming bowl of miso soup and a bowl of rice toward me. Carefully lifting the steaming teapot I noticed his empty cup by his elbow so I reached out and sliding his cup toward me refilled it. Picking it up Kenshin nodded appreciatively before taking a long pull of tea and turning back to Sano. Smiling to myself I poured myself a cup. '_Mmm, green tea my favorite_' I thought as I breathed in the cleansing aroma. Carefully I picked up the delicate cup. Taking a small sip of the steaming liquid I smiled. It was good. I could feel myself becoming more alert as the invigorating liquid slid down my throat. Setting the cup aside I picked up a spoon and began to eat.

When I had finished about half of my bowl Megumi entered. After everyone chorused their welcomes she waved tiredly and walking over sat down beside me. I smiled and said,

"Good morning Megumi, want some green tea?" Yawning she replied,

"Morning Kaoru… Oh I can never wake up without my morning cup." Grinning I poured her a cup. Taking it she thanked me and took a sip. Sighing she smiled and said,

"So, Kaoru, summer rains came early this year didn't they?"

"Yeah, it's only April," I replied," I looked out this morning; it's probably going to rain all week."

"That's good," she said, "we need the rain, and it will be good for travel." Glancing away she began speaking to Misao; so she didn't see the confused look that crossed my face, '_how rain can be good for travel…oh well perhaps it is… any way how would I know._' I shrugged off my bewilderment. By the time I had regained my composure Sano was speaking to Aoshi and Kenshin turned to me saying,

"Good morning, Kaoru-dono"

"Good morning, Kenshin, the rain moved in fast didn't it?" I replied

"Yes," he said, "I guess last night was the calm before the storm." Smiling I agreed.

"This year especially we need the rain." He nodded before lowering his voice and saying

"Kaoru-dono what do you say we introduce Yahiko to his new kendo master?" I grinned and nodded my assent. Then he turned to Yahiko and spoke,

"Yahiko, I've finally found a kendo master for you." Yahiko looked up quickly saying,

"But I thought none of the men agreed to teach me?" Kenshin grinned,

"Your right, none of the _**men **_have agreed to teach you." Yahiko looked confused, and then slowly it seemed to dawn on him. Shifting his gaze to me he asked,

"You're a master?!" I smiled at the incredulous look on his face then I replied,

"Yes, adjutant master of the Kamiya Kasshin School." Quizzically he asked,

"How'd a girl become adjutant master?" at this point both Megumi and Misao jumped him.

"And just what is wrong with a woman being the successor of her specialty?" Megumi asked outraged before Misao cut her off with,

"Kaoru is a much more accomplished fighter than you! Show some respect!" I couldn't help it I began to laugh, soon Sano was laughing. Aoshi even smiled… a little. Even Kenshin started to chuckle quietly. When we finally stopped laughing Megumi and Misao had finished berating Yahiko. They still looked a bit miffed, and Yahiko looked harried but when I spoke he brightened,

"Yahiko, if you would like to learn kendo I will gladly teach you the Kamiya Kasshin style." He nodded and replied,

"Well, since no one else will teach me… I'd be honored to learn." Before quietly muttering, "Even if you are a girl." For which Misao promptly kicked him under the table. Ignoring his muted yelp of pain I said,

"Good, we will practice after we eat. If that's okay, Kenshin?" I asked looking toward him.

"That sounds like a good plan." He replied then turning to the others and began outlining most of the day.

"Sano, you and I need to speak to the unit captains. Aoshi, you and Misao probably want to choose the men who will accompany you to Remala" they nodded and Kenshin continued," and Megumi you'll probably need more time to pack up your medical supplies correct?" She nodded. With that everyone finished eating. Soon Kenshin and Sano left the room. Motioning to Yahiko I made my way toward the door. Leaping to his feet he followed. Once we were in the hall I stopped and turned to him saying,

"You have a gi and trousers to practice in right?" He nodded," good, go change and I will meet you in the dojo." Quickly he hurried down the hall and over his shoulder I heard him say,

"Thanks Kaoru!" Smiling I hurried toward my room. Opening the door I walked to my window and cracked the shutters. Glancing out I could see it would rain soon. The clouds looked bruised and the air was tinged green. Closing the window securely I walked into my bedroom. Changing out of my kimono, I slid into Megumi's white gi and pulled on the dark blue wide leg trousers. Fingering the heavy material I smiled. They looked almost identical to the pair my father had always worn. Tying the sash I made my way to the dojo. Opening the door to the dojo I walked in. as I turned and closed the door there was a loud clap of thunder and then the rain came down. It was torrential. I could hear the pounding of heavy rain upon the roof. Turning from the door I smiled as I listened to the heavy beat of the rain and walked toward the weapons rack and chose the bokken I had used yesterday. It had had a good heft and balance. It was quite lovely, a solid length of kashi wood it had a honey gold varnish. It was the length and shape of a standard katana and the hilt was worn with use. I smiled, it was perfect for me. Then I returned to the center of the room and waited for Yahiko. Quietly I waited listening to the rain; soon I heard the quick patter of running feet. Then the door flew open and Yahiko hurried in; a huge grin on his face; his eyes shining with anticipation. Stopping suddenly he blurted out,

"Kaoru, you're already here!" wryly I grinned

"Why yes I do believe I am. Now Yahiko, I want you to go over to the rack and find a bokken that has the right weight." Inquiringly he looked at me,

"Right weight?" he asked

"One that you can swing easily but no so light that it has no heft." I replied

"Oh, I see." He said. I watched as he trotted over to the weapons rack and picked up various bokkens and swinging them experimentally. Finally he selected one and carrying it over he asked,

"Is this good?" reaching out I grasped the proffered handle. It was made of Asian red oak with a natural colored varnish. '_Hmm, seems feather light to me, but I guess my gage is a bit off._' Smiling I said,

"Yes, now do you know the how to hold the bokken in the basic kenjutsu stance?"

"Of course" he said

"Show me" I countered. But this was expected, I had assumed Kenshin had already taught him the basics. So I watched as stepping back he took up the standard stance, right foot forward, weight balanced, gripping the bokken extending it diagonally up from just below or at the waist. Walking around him I studied his form. First I adjusted his grip,

"Not quite so tight, loosen up your wrists." Nudging his left foot back I adjusted his balance,

"Distribute your weight evenly on the balls of your feet." He sifted his weight as instructed. The I stepping back I spoke,

"Good, now I will teach you the first basic move, an overhead block." As I spoke I adjusted his stance, moving his arms upward and instructing him to bend his knees to absorb the force of the blow. After watching him perform the overhead block a few times I stepped forward and stopped him saying,

"Now I will strike for your head and you will block the attack, okay? Now return to your basic stance." As he did so I adopted a similar stance and said,

"Ready!"

"Yup," Yahiko replied and with that I struck; nothing to fast or powerful, a basic overhead strike, and just as I had instructed he brought up his arms absorbing the force of the blow with his knees.

"Good! Now let's try that again." And so it went. My practiced attacks stopped …sometimes by his new block. We practiced for around three hours. I taught Yahiko four different blocks and the overhead blow I had first executed. Eventually I called a halt,

"Yahiko, that's very good, rest now, let's go and get some water from the kitchen." For all the kid lacked in strength he more than made up for in stamina and sheer tenacity. I was standing beside the weapons rack and replacing my bokken. I waited as he trotted over and replaced his.

"Sure, Kaoru," he replied and quietly we walked out of the dojo. Above our heads I could hear the ceaseless patter of rain. I followed Yahiko down the halls till we came to the kitchens. I smiled upon entering the warm bustling room, there were around ten people moving about preparing food. I watched as Yahiko walked over to a young girl I recognized as Tsubame. Looking up at him she smiled shyly and said,

"Hi Yahiko"

"Morning Tsubame, can me'n Kaoru get some water?"

"Sure" she said setting aside the knife she had been drying. Walking over to the corner I watched as Yahiko helped her by filling the pitcher from one of the large urns of water. Smiling Tsubame took the pitcher from him and poured two cups for him and thanking her he carried them over to me.

"Thanks" I said as I took the cup he handed me. Finishing the glass I sighed happily. I had put Yahiko through a good work out and was quite thirsty. From the way he was guzzling his drink it seemed as if he felt the same. When he finished I held out my hand and took his cup, walking over to a bucket of clean water in the corner I rinsed out the cups. I was just turning to look for a drying cloth when Tsubame rushed over

"Oh," she said," you didn't have to do that I could have gotten them." As she spoke she reached out and took the two cups dried them and placed them back onto their shelf.

"That's fine," I replied smiling, "I'd hate to just make more work for you" then moved back toward Yahiko. Smiling I thanked her and nodded as she waved to us before I herded Yahiko out of the busy kitchen.

"Okay you've done a good job today. Go get cleaned up and your done." I told him," Oh if you need me before lunch I'll probably be with Megumi." He nodded and hurried off as he turned a corner he came back and poking his head around the corner smiled hugely at me saying,

"Thanks Kaoru!" smiling I headed toward the infirmary. As I walked in she looked up from the large wicker pack she was filling with supplies.

"Oh hi, Kaoru, How did Yahiko's first lesson go?" she asked

"Fairly well, he learns fast." I replied

"That's good, you feel like helping me this afternoon?" she asked I nodded saying

"Sure, I'll go change and come help."

"Okay but just go straight to the meeting room. We'll eat lunch and pack up more of my supplies after."

"Sounds good," I replied as I headed toward my rooms. As I was nearing my door I saw Kenshin exiting his room. He was wearing his usual black gi and white pants, but his flame red hair was dripping wet as he walked out of his door he was in the process of pulling his long wet hair out of his face with a leather hair tie. He seemed to be having trouble. The red mass seemed alive, it clung to his hands and he couldn't to pull it up. Chuckling I stood out side my door. Glancing up he said,

"Hello Kaoru-dono. I just came in from outside and my hair doesn't seem to be cooperating with me." Still chuckling softly I walked over saying,

"Here let me help," eyeing my carefully he said,

"Okay" and passed the hair tie to me. I blushed when our hands brushed. Slowly he turned so I could reach his hair. Hanging loose it fell past the middle of his back. Gently I gathered the damp strands in my hands saying,

"I feel your pain; my hair is just the same wet."

"Is that so Kaoru-dono," I could here the smile in his voice. Carefully I pulled the clingy red strands into a high pony tail and tied it up. Smoothing the still shoulder length hair I stepped back.

"There, perfectly presentable."

"Thank you Kaoru-dono" he said a lively twinkle in his eyes, "May I ask how Yahiko's training went?"

"Very well in fact, the boy is very quick."

"Good, Oh Kaoru-dono, you still haven't changed. I won't keep you any longer" he said

"It's alright" I replied quickly, "I was just going to change into clean cloths and head to lunch."

"Ah well then if you don't mind I will wait ad we can go see if the others are in the meeting room as well." He said

"Oh that's okay I'll be fine."

"I insist" he said his amber eyes compelling

"If you say so," I replied, "I'll just be a moment." Quickly I slipped into my rooms. Walking into the bedroom I stripped off the gi and trousers and slipped on the lavender kimono and tied on the red-purple obi. Then I hurried out of the bedroom and stepped out of my rooms. Kenshin was leaning against the opposite wall. Scanning my figure he stood and walked toward me saying,

"You look lovely Kaoru-dono." again I felt my cheeks warm in embarrassment

"T-thanks" for a moment he seemed to stop breathing before he smiled kindly and said,

"Shall we?" gesturing down the hall. I nodded and we walked down the hallway side by side. Internally I was reeling. What on earth was that? To be honest I was frightened. This was a side of Kenshin that both attracted and scared me. All I had seen of his thus far was a gentle quiet facade but I knew that there was much, much more to the mysterious man beside me, a darker more dangerous man that the rest of Japan knew as Battousai. That's what I kept telling myself but I couldn't help feel a strange connection with Kenshin, his powerful aura that he attempted to dampen with kindness, his sad ageless eyes. But I feared it would be his kindness that drew me in and his iron strength that would never let me go.

* * *

As we walked I studied her face. It had reverted back to the calm indifferent mask I had seen before; only new I knew it for what it was. I had frightened her, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what had possessed me. She was young and innocent. I had no business involving myself with her, but I couldn't help myself. I felt a strange need to protect Kaoru, though from what I had no idea. Desperately I tried to remind myself, '_No good ever comes to the women I become involved with. I have no right to entangle another in my existence._' but it as no good. Kaoru was attractive in a way Tomoe had never been. A strong fighter she was gentle and caring with a deep inner strength; so different from Tomoe's timid fearful demeanor. I stopped myself there, '_look what Tomoe did. The moment she knew the truth, she ran'_ then I forced myself to look back on that fateful night over 100 years ago. I had met and been in a relationship with Tomoe for over a year. I was always careful to stay away during the times when my thirst was unmanageable, and for a long time she accepted my monthly absences. And then one night she followed. I had been alone then. I usually slaked my thirst on the blood of cut throats and thieves. For all their blood tasted bitter it helped assuage my conscience. I had been standing in a clearing my fangs clamped deep in the throat of my latest victim, though I felt no sympathy for him. I had attacked him as he stalked a young girl child at the edge of the town. He deserved death. For all his bitter blood turned my stomach it was hot and wet and would sooth my thirst. It was at that moment Tomoe walked into the moon lit clearing. Quickly I had looked up. Looking back now I can see what I must have looked like to her. My eyes glinting copper red, blood coating my hands and face splattered on my clothing, a corpse in my arms. She fainted. I had carried her back to our cottage. Then I had gone outside to clean up the body and the blood. I was going to explain everything to her. She didn't stick around that long. When I returned an hour later the cottage was empty, she had packed her cloths and disappeared, not even waiting around for an explanation or a goodbye. My expression must have turned very grim for soon a soft tug on the sleeve of my gi pulled me from my revere violently. Whirling I grabbed her wrist Kaoru looked at me calmly waiting for reason to return. Her calm mask was gone worry tinged her deep blue eyes softly she said,

"Are you all right Kenshin?" shaking away the cobwebs of old pain and despair I carefully released her wrist and tried to smile reassuringly,

"I apologize. I'm just fine Kaoru-dono." I replied we were standing just outside the door of the meeting room. Silently she gazed at me with those searching blue eyes and quietly said

"I'm sorry" confused I asked

"For what?"

"For whatever it is that has made your eyes so sad" she replied. I was stunned. Patting my shoulder softly she stepped around me and walked into the room. Alone now I gazed after her. What had she seen reflected in my eyes? Why had she cared? I was letting this girl get dangerously close to me. I knew I shouldn't allow this, but I also knew I would never push her away. Slowly I opened the door and stepped inside. Megumi and Yahiko were already seated. Kaoru was speaking to Yahiko. He was asking a question about his kendo stance and she was explaining the how's and why's of the particular stance she had taught him. As I entered Yahiko and Megumi chorused their welcomes while Kaoru studied my face intently smiling tiredly I walked over and sat beside her. Finished with her visual inspection she smiled softly and slid me a steaming cup of tea. I nodded saying,

"Thank you Kaoru-dono" she smiled and replied

"You're welcome" and we both knew I was thanking her for more than just tea. Then I turned to Yahiko and asked him about his first real training session. He was quite ready to share a play by play recount of it. As I had expected Kaoru had taught him multiple blocks and only one attack. While he spoke Kaoru smiled softly then sensing my gaze she shifted her gaze toward me. I nodded my approval and she grinned. When he had finished I asked if he'd seen Aoshi, Misao, or Sano.

"Yeah" he replied, "they all just came in from outside so they went to change into dry cloths." Then Megumi claimed my attention,

"Himura, I need two more of those wicker packs."

"Okay, just grab some from storage… I think they were moved to the quartermaster's tent" I replied

"Thanks, I'll go get them after lunch." At that moment the door opened and Aoshi, Misao, and Sano walked in all sporting a wet haired look similar to my own. As they sat Tsubame entered carrying a tray of steaming noodles and a platter of grilled fish, setting those down she came back in with a pitcher of water and a fresh pot of tea. Placing that on the table she left closing the door behind her. Megumi slid everyone a bowl of noodles and Kaoru passed around the grilled fish. As we ate I listened as everyone chatted idly. Yahiko was telling Misao about his first kendo lesson. Aoshi was speaking to Sano about one of the men he wanted to go to Remala. Megumi and Kaoru were talking quietly. I grinned and finished my bowl. I would spend the afternoon trying to choose the group to join me, Sano, and possibly Yahiko, who hated to be left behind, to Kapta.

* * *

After the meal I followed Megumi back to the infirmary. For some reason I couldn't quite get the pained look in Kenshin's eyes out of my mind. After I had pulled myself out of my own thoughts I had initially thought he was angry with me. Kenshin's visage has gone very still and grim. Then I had noticed his eyes. His usually bright and calculating amber eyes were glazed viewing an event no one but he could see. The vague sadness that was always tingeing his gaze seemed to grow blotting out any other emotion. He looked truly haunted so despite my screaming instincts I had attempted to bring him back to the present. Even though I expected it his reaction had still startled me he had reacted almost instantaneously it was frightening. Thankfully his grip had been restraining not bruising and as I watched reason returned to his eyes and he had released me. He'd seemed surprised by my actions. Just then Megumi turned to me. I was transferring the contents of various jars into wax paper packets that we would pack into the wicker packs.

"Kaoru will you label those packets for me? I'm just going to run down and talk to the quartermaster about getting a few more packs okay?"

"Sure" I replied and grabbing a bamboo calligraphy pen I quickly asked, "the names of the herb are on the jar beside the packet correct?"

"That's right," she replied then Megumi turned and left the room. Then I picked up one of the packets and began carefully penning in the characters from the corresponding jar. I had almost finished labeling the last packet. Placing the last stroke I looked up in time to see Yahiko elbow the door open while carefully balancing a large wicker pack in his arms. Jumping up I walked over to hold the door open for him as well as Megumi. She stumbled in and placed her burden on the ground.

"Whew! Those things aren't heavy but they're real awkward to carry." She exclaimed

"I noticed, oh Megumi, I finished the labeling" I replied

"That's good," she said, "now while I pack up those packets why don't you open up that cabinet. It's full of bandages. Could you coil them up neatly?" heading toward the indicated cabinet I opened it to reveal a vast tangle of white bandage. So kneeling down I gathered the mass into my arms. Then I stood and carefully walked over to the counter trying not to trip over the various trailing ends. As I set the bundle down I noticed Yahiko standing awkwardly by the door.

"Hey Yahiko, if your not doing anything want to help me?" I asked gesturing at the bandages. Hesitantly he nodded and walked over. I scooped up one of the trailing ends and began to coil the cloth into a neat roll. I watched out of the corner of my eyes as Yahiko copied my movements. Soon I began speaking to him about Kendo, and he seemed happy to just sit and talk. We finished rolling bandages right as I finished explaining the ranges of different weapons. I honestly liked Yahiko, he paid attention and he understood concepts very quickly, though he seemed a bit lonely. As I set aside the last roll Megumi walked over and inspected the growing pile of bandages,

"Hmm, we'll need more," then she moved toward a second cabinet and removing another bundle came back to the counter. Setting it down the pulled another stool over and sitting down beside me we began anew. By the end of the afternoon we must have rolled over 100 yards of cloth. When we finally got it all packed into the wicker packs Megumi said,

"Finally we're done! I don't know about you but I'm starving. Let's go eat." Yahiko and I agreed whole heartedly and we all trooped down the hall toward the meeting room. Misao and Aoshi were already seated so Yahiko took his place beside Misao and Megumi sat beside Aoshi. I took a seat on the opposite side leaving enough space between Megumi and I for Sano and plenty of space ton my left for Kenshin. Again I found myself wondering how I had been accepted so quickly into this group. Just then Sano and Kenshin entered. Sano was carrying a pitcher of water and Kenshin held a few papers. Behind them Tsubame followed carefully balancing a platter of fried rice and fish. I assumed they had dropped by the kitchen to help Tsubame carry things. Sano set down the pitcher and backed out of Tsubame's way as she deftly placed the platters at the center of the table. Kenshin took his seat on my left and Sano sat down beside Megumi. Everyone greeted them warmly. Tsubame quickly returned carrying a bottle of sake and a pot of tea. Setting those down Tsubame quietly wished us good evening and exited. Then Megumi began passing around the rice so I served the fish. Settling back to the floor I glanced down and noticed Kenshin had poured a cup of tea for me. Gratefully I smiled over at him he nodded saying,

"Good evening Kaoru-dono, how did you spend your afternoon?"

"Yahiko and I helped Megumi in the infirmary" I replied

"That's good" he said then I decided to ask,

"What did you do this afternoon Kenshin?"

"Well I was going over some paper work with Sano and trying to figure out how many men I'll need to take Kapta." He replied. Curious I asked,

"How large is the imperial outpost?" he looked a bit surprised but answered

"They have around 25 men."

"Hmm, interesting, so you need a group large enough to take 25 men but small enough to enter the town unnoticed?" He nodded still surprised, I guess, at my interest, "well you will be going so that easily takes care of 10-15 men but you'll want enough men so that no one escapes; so perhaps 15 men?"

"Well yes that's very sound reasoning I actually was planning on that, but how do you know I can take that many?" I grinned at him,

"You think I couldn't tell from when we sparred? The Hiten Mitsurugi is designed to take on multiple opponents." He smiled

"I'm impressed, you have a sharp eye." I grinned

"Thanks, so how many of the men have you chosen?" he shrugged

"Well I have a few men in mind, but I have to think it through Sano and I for sure, maybe Yahiko and five other men I have already chosen." I nodded skeptical

"Yahiko?" he glanced up quickly. Yahiko was engaged speaking to Misao so quietly Kenshin said,

"He hates to be left behind and though it's dangerous I want him where I can keep an eye on him." His expression was brooding for a moment, but soon it cleared and he returned his attention to me.

"If you think that's best," I said doubtfully, "you leave in two days right?"

"Yes we do," he said, "Oh, Kaoru-dono do you mind if I come and watch Yahiko's training in the mornings?"

"Sure," I replied, "Though it would be great if you would spar with me afterward." He smiled saying,

"I would love to." Then he turned to his food and began to eat. Following his example I tucked into my own bowl.

* * *

After dinner I had stayed to speak with Aoshi about his plans for Remala. Misao and Yahiko had both headed to bed and Sano, Megumi, and Kaoru had also turned in. the now empty room seemed too quiet and it took me a moment to realize that the rain had stopped. Aoshi had given a brief progress report and left. For a few minutes I simply sat contemplating dinner. I had been honestly surprised at how quickly Kaoru had grasped the situation in Kapta. Even more surprising was that she had cone up with a plan on the fly so similar to what I had devised. I had to admit she was more than just intriguing. I had to wonder what had occurred to give her; her calculating intellect, kind demeanor, and inner strength. Standing I decided that while the rain held off I might as well take a walk. I soon found myself prowling the courtyard. Nearing the end of my circuit once again, I almost expected the sight that met my eyes. Kaoru was at her window, except unlike the last time I had seen her she was fast asleep; her head pillowed on her arms, her long blue-black hair had been let down and it cascaded down her back in a smooth river of hair. Glancing up at the sky I decided that I couldn't in good conscience leave her where she would in all likelihood get wet. So silently I padded over to her window. She was still wearing the lavender kimono from earlier and her dusky form seemed to blend into her surroundings. For a moment I debated between waking her or simply carrying her to bed, when her slim form shifted nearly causing her to tumble to the ground; which effectively decided for me. To keep her from falling I had quickly reached in the window and gently gripping her about the waist edged her sleeping form back onto the chair. Quietly I climbed inside and as gently as possible I lifted her into my arms bridal style. She merely shifted in her sleep. As a precaution I had been holding my breath from the moment I had lifted Kaoru into my arms, now I took a small tentative breath. Yes, she smelled tempting, but my thirst was still manageable. I had sated my thirst just days earlier, but no harm in being cautious, because for some reason Kaoru's blood smelled much sweeter than the blood of others. I attributed this to her innate kindness and innocence, where murderers, thieves and cowards had bitter blood the young, innocent and brave had sweet blood. This I thought was a very unhelpful fact as it encouraged vampires like myself to prey upon the innocents of this world. Gently I carried her from the sitting room and laid her out on the bed her raven hair fanned out beneath her. Then I gently pulled the cover over her still form before quietly leaving the room. I smiled softly Kaoru was so beautiful bathed in the gentle moonlight that was filtering through the clouds. Carefully I closed the window and left her rooms. For some reason I couldn't get the image of her petite form lying in my arms out of my head. Softly I sighed and as if on cue I heard a gentle drizzle begin to fall. '_At least she's dry_' I thought as I headed back to my study to pore over the list of names once again.

* * *

You know that place just between sleeping and waking. When your mind is wake yet your body is still asleep. You see, hear, and feel but you can not respond to anything. I awakened to the feeling of strong arms lifting my carefully. I was being held gently against someone's chest as they carried my and laid me down on a bed. At first I had felt the strangest sense of peace and safety then I had panicked and yet I couldn't react. My body had become a trap. By the time I felt a coverlet being spread over my inert form I was beginning to regain control over my body. I opened my eyes in time to see a flash of red hair as someone left the room. Stunned I could do no more then lie still as I listened to Kenshin quietly move around in the outer room. I heard the gentle thud of the closing shutters and the quiet sound of my door being shut. I didn't manage to snap out of my terror induced stupor until I heard a gentle rain begin to fall. I couldn't believe that Kenshin had seen me sleeping and carried me inside. The worst thing was how unbelievable safe I had felt in his arms, before my brain kicked in that is. I shivered thinking back, though Kenshin seemed to be an honorable man he was still a man which by definition made his dangerous. What had I been thinking to let my guard down? A man had come into my room, my bedroom and I had been completely helpless; if Kenshin had been any less than the respectable and principled man that he was or if another man had found me… though I knew it was irrational to fear him. A shiver of cold fear flashed down my spine. I would not end up like my mother.

* * *

Wow... longest chapter yet...

Well thanks for reading this far. I hope you like the story so far. Now as a reward for this deliciously long chapter please drop a review (puppy eyes)

disclaimer: As of right now I still do not own Rurouni Kenshin... check back later


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Acceptance

Last night it had taken a long time for me to fall asleep. Common sense told me that Kenshin hadn't meant to frighten me. That he had only been trying to keep me dry. His actions had been done in kindness, yet I couldn't shake the instinctual fear that had been instilled in me since the day of my parents' death…'_No, do not go there_' I forced my mind away from those kinds of thoughts.

It had taken years for me to think of them without crying and still no matter what I refused to relive that day even in memory.

Somehow I felt that I had betrayed my family's memory, I had felt safe being cradled against Kenshin; my mind was still undecided. I didn't think Kenshin would ever hurt me intentionally, but he had an immense power that frightened me. For a long time I wrestled with whether or not to acknowledge his actions before I realized in all likelihood nothing I did would be able to hide the truth from him.

Finally I worked up the courage to face the day. It was still raining, a steady down pour that could last all day. Getting up I padded over to the clothing chest. Glancing down I realized that I had fallen asleep at the window without changing into a sleeping yukata. '_Well that's comforting. At least I wasn't in sleeping garments when he picked me up._'

So I slipped out of the wrinkled lavender kimono and pulled on a clean gray green kimono with a jade colored obi. Grabbing a hair tie I slipped out of my bedroom and walked into the washroom. After cleaning my face I grabbed a brush and pulled my unruly hair into a pony tail.

Then I stepped out into the hall which was thankfully empty. Poking my head into the infirmary I saw Megumi was already awake she glanced up as I entered,

"Good morning Megumi" I greeted her

"Hi, Kaoru, do you mind waiting for me?" she asked

"Sure, are you just labeling the packs?" I replied

"Yeah, I don't want to have to search through all of these things to find one packet of ginseng." She said with a smile

"Very true" I agreed as I walked in and settled onto one of the stools by the counter.

Soon she finished and we walked down the halls to the meeting room. Stepping in I saw that everyone but Misao and Aoshi were already present. Nervously I walked over and sat quietly beside Kenshin thanking him with a nod as he slid me a bowl.

Though my mind told me he couldn't possibly have known of my past when he had carried me inside, I couldn't convince myself of that. After a few moments of struggling with my mind I succumbed to the inviting flow of memory. Retreating behind my calm mask I did the unthinkable and began to relive my memories from before…

* * *

When Kaoru had entered I quickly looked up to greet her, before I realized something was wrong. Quietly I had passed her bowl to her and she had barely acknowledged my presence. Her distant and cold mask was in place. I studied her face worried; even at our first encounter she hadn't been this withdrawn and unresponsive.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out what had unsettled her. Questioningly I glanced at Megumi who shrugged helplessly. Kaoru seemed to be lost in her thoughts. Even Misao noticed something was off. After a few minutes Yahiko attempted to snap her out of it,

"Umm, Kaoru, are we still practicing after we eat?" startled from her reverie she glanced up,

"Of course Yahiko. If you're done we can begin now." She said

"Okay Kaoru, I'll meet you in the dojo." Getting up he left the room. Kaoru followed with a silent nod to the room.

As the door closed everyone looked expectantly at Megumi, who looking a bit uncomfortable under our scrutiny exclaimed,

"I don't know! Really she was fine earlier but she started getting quiet after we left the infirmary." Sano shrugged his shoulders saying,

"Huh, well that was strange; missy was almost as grim as you are sometimes Battousai." I glanced at him surprised before standing and replying,

"I need to head to the dojo. I told Kaoru-dono that I would watch her training session with Yahiko." they nodded and watched me go. As I walked to the dojo I wondered what had made Kaoru close up.

Though her expression had been calm her eyes had a haunted look that worried me. As I entered the dojo I considered what could have happened. Immediately last night came to mind but I quickly dismissed it she hadn't even stirred as I moved her.

Standing in the dojo I quickly strode to the back of the room and leaned against the wall near the weapons rack. Soon a subdued Yahiko entered. Looking surprised to see me he walked over and picked up a bokken before asking me quietly,

"Hey Kenshin, what's wrong with Kaoru?" looking down at him I replied,

"Honestly, I don't know." his face clouded with worry,

"She seemed happy yesterday" just then Kaoru entered.

She was still subdued but when she glanced up and saw me she tensed minutely. Only another warrior trained would have noticed. Recovering quickly she strode over once again the cool and collected woman she usually was.

Grabbing the bokken she had used earlier she acknowledged my presence with a nod, before going straight into the session with Yahiko. At first she seemed a bit off balance but gradually she relaxed.

She was a good teacher. Patient yet firm and while her mind was focused on Yahiko she seemed to pull away from what ever was burdening her; watching her practice while not actually sparring with her was engaging.

She had a delicate almost elfin physique going through various attack routines with a feline grace; her long black hair swinging out behind her.

Soon she called for a halt. Surprised I realized I had been here for over three hours. I stood quietly while she congratulated Yahiko and sent him off to change. When she turned to face me her face had regained its detached look, but her eyes had lost their haunted cast. Then I spoke,

"Are you alright Kaoru-dono?" I could hear he shape intake of breath from across the room. Then she replied,

"Yes, I'm just fine."

"Are you sure?" I inquired concerned. I noted the slight slump of her shoulders as she exhaled with a quiet sigh.

"No, Kenshin, I'm not alright, but I will work through it on my own if you don't mind." I nodded I understood personal pain when I saw it.

"In that case Kaoru-dono, I am sorry."

"For wha-," she smiled tiredly, "Oh, I get it am I becoming grim?"

"Only marginally grim," I replied, "do you feel up to sparring?" for a moment I thought she would turn me down but then she grinned and said,

"Of course, Kenshin," So grabbing a bokken from the rack beside me I walked toward the center of the room. Bowing we faced each other squarely. This time she made the first move, a straight forward lunge that I easily blocked. Then I moved trying a low cut directed at her knees.

She jumped and easily cleared my bokken. In return at the height of her jump she executed an over head cut which I blocked forcing her back a step. Then I lunged forward, she leaped aside to avoid the main thrust but I still managed to rap her smartly on her arm. In retaliation she made a rush from the side landing a quick hit on my shoulder.

Unlike our first match Kaoru's tactics were more offensive forcing me to take a more defensive stance. Her movements were less smooth but stronger than the last time. After about ten minutes of sparring we were both sweating, so with the finesse of long practice I waited until she moved in for a diagonal uppercut and instead of the traditional block I merely deflected the blow snaking my bokken around hers and with a quick flick of my wrist, neatly disarmed her once again.

Before she could lunge for her weapon I sidestepped quickly getting behind her and pulling her quickly to my chest my bokken resting at her collar bone. Suddenly her body tensed violently, I heard her gasp and a ragged

"No!" escaped her throat before she whirled and lunged away from me her breathing ragged and her body was tensely coiled her arms wrapped about herself.

Worried I had quickly let her go. Staring at her obviously distressed figure I noticed her eyes. They had a glazed panicked look. Keeping my eyes on Kaoru I slowly bent and set my bokken on the floor. Gradually straightening I began to speak soothingly,

"Kaoru, it's alright, your fine. Nothing's wrong, here breath, I won't hurt you." Slowly I moved closer trying to look unthreatening.

Slowly her eyes began to clear; I was about a foot away from her when reason returned. Throwing up her hand she set it against my chest and shook her head firmly,

"No, I'm alright Kenshin. You just startled me, that's all." I looked at her in disbelief, about to retort when I saw the naked fear and pleading in her eyes.

So stepping back to give her some space I said,

"Alright Kaoru, why don't you sit down," Tight lipped she nodded and sat right where she had been standing relief evident in her deep blue eyes. Kneeling down I meant to comfort her when her soft voice met my ears,

"Please, Kenshin could you just stay over there for a bit." I nodded concerned for her and sat facing her about three feet away. She was seated her knees pulled to her chest. She had her arms wrapped about them and her face pressed against her legs. Quietly I waited while she composed herself. After a few moments she raised her head.

"Are you alright, Kaoru?" she nodded

"I'm good now. I suppose you'll want an explanation." She replied

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable." I said. She shook her head saying,

"No, you of all people deserve an explanation."

"If you feel up to it," She took a deep breath,

"I'll try…" I nodded encouragingly and she began to speak

"Kenshin, last night I fell asleep at my window sill." I nodded wondering where this was going…"and when I woke later-" I understood

"Kaoru I apologize I did not intend to frighten you. I assure you I had the most honorable intentions-" she cut me off

"No it's alright. You didn't let me finish. I know you meant no harm. I felt very safe in your arms." She said quietly, blushing slightly before continuing, "It just brought up some bad memories. I guess I've been dwelling on then a bit much…" she trailed off blinking rapidly

"What memories?" she just closed her eyes and shook her head, "It's alright, I'm sorry I shouldn't press you. You don't have to tell me." Then I moved beside her and gently lowered my arm around her shoulders. She tensed her eyes shooting open before she let out a shuddering breath and hugged her knees to her chest more tightly, allowing me to sit quietly beside her one arm wound comfortingly about her slender shoulders.

* * *

I don't know how long we sat in the dojo listening to the quiet patter of rain. I had relaxed against his shoulder feeling the peace he seemed to carry with him settle over me. After what seemed like an age I opened my eyes and uncurled from the ball I had become. At my movement Kenshin glanced down and lowered his arm

Standing he reached down and helped me up. Gaining my feet I looked up into his eyes they were a very mellow amber color today though they still held a worried edge

"Thank you," I whispered he smiled kindly saying,

"You'll probably want to change before lunch." I nodded gratefully, "Kaoru, would you mind if I walked you to your rooms." Surprised I glanced up at him a very protective look hovered in his eyes. Pushing aside my grief and pain I said,

"Sure," then realizing something I said" hey Kenshin?"

"Yes, Kaoru,"

"When did you drop the honorific?" A surprised look crossed his face,

"I hadn't realized," he said, "Does it bother you?" I attempted to smile at him

"No, I don't address you with an honorific." He smiled softly at me and we walked down the hallways toward our rooms.

* * *

After she entered her rooms I debated whether or not to stay and walk her to the meeting room. I decided she would probably want some time alone to compose herself, so I headed to the meeting room.

Thinking back I was surprised by the surge of protectiveness I had felt for the girl. She had looked so vulnerable. The fact that her past still held such crippling horrors for her worried me.

Again the thought that I ought to push her away occurred to me, '_She shouldn't feel safe in my presence._' But again I understood myself well enough to know that I wouldn't. She was already meant too much to me. Kaoru was so warm and trusting, even to those who didn't deserve her trust.

Again I wondered what could have happened to make her fear being restrained by a man. I felt a sudden and strong surge of hatred toward whatever had hurt her so deeply. Then I shook my head she would tell me eventually and then I would be free to hunt down the bastards.

Once more the strong emotions Kaoru incited in me shocked me. I had never acted in rage. Centuries of life had taught me that planning and careful calculation accomplished what rage and blind passion accomplished during my human years so very long ago.

All I knew was that deep inside Kaoru was hurting and somehow I felt the need to protect her. The strong young woman whose indomitable spirit allowed her to walk head up into uncertainties was hiding some part of her heart away. Yet this was just the side of herself that Kaoru had allowed me to witness.

* * *

I was sitting in my darkened bedroom leaning against the foot of my bed. I had made a mistake. One I had not made in a long, long time. I couldn't believe I had slipped up like that. I had managed to avoid thinking of the day of my parent's death for over three years. I thought I had gotten over my fears.

A small ironic part of my brain chose that moment to intrude with, '_apparently not._' There hadn't been an episode this bad for _three years_ how long would it take for old wounds to heal. Kenshin's actions last night had left me seriously unbalanced, weakening my usual ability to block out all forbidden memories. And that was dangerous, I couldn't let myself slip up like that, not again. I would not let my mind liger upon the past. _'I am safe from the past here, I only need to lock it away once again._'

So I pulled my mind firmly back to the present and got dressed in the gray green kimono. Walking into the washroom I undid my ponytail. It was looking a bit ragged. Running a brush through it quickly I pulled it up once again. Then tightening my obi I stepped out into the hall.

Quietly I made my way to the meeting room. My mood was still subdued but better, much better. So when Megumi exited the infirmary I managed a small smile,

"Hi Kaoru, you feeling better?" she asked

"Yeah, thanks Megumi, sorry for going all catatonic on you," she smiled at me,

"Oh, you weren't that bad, promise." I smiled at her grateful for her forgiveness,

"So what are you doing this afternoon?" I asked we were walking toward the meeting room.

"Well, I've finished packing all my medical supplies so I guess I'll do a bit of personal packing. I leave in three days, hey Kaoru do you know who you're going to be going with?" I shook my head saying

"I figure Kenshin will inform me when he figures it out himself." She nodded a grin on her face,

"True, Himura will make his wishes known. Well, I won't be doing anything interesting this afternoon but you're welcome to hang with me anyway." I smiled at her,

"I'll probably do that, if you don't mind."

"No problem," she said as we entered the meeting room. Kenshin, Sano and, Yahiko were already seated.

From the looks of it Yahiko wanted to go with them to Kapta. Finally an exasperated Sano asserted,

"Yahiko we have one more day before we leave let's just wait and see how your training goes." Walking over Megumi took a seat beside Sano and I took my place next to Kenshin.

"Hey Sano, what did you do this morning?" I asked trying to make up for my earlier reticence.

"Well we have all the men who will accompany us to Kapta have been chosen." He said

"That's good," I replied, "did you end up with 15 men like you planned?" This time it was Kenshin, who spoke up,

"We're hovering around 13 including Sano and myself." I nodded

"I see," then Megumi began interrogating Sano,

"You all leave day after tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, why?" he asked disgruntled at her tone

"Well you better figure out logistics and pack if you expect to be ready." Kenshin nodded turning to me as he said,

"Kaoru may I speak to you after lunch?" I nodded wondering why he didn't just ask me now.

"No problem" I replied

Then Aoshi and Misao entered as soon as they were seated Misao exclaimed,

"Hi everyone!" then turning her attention to Yahiko began pestering him with questions, "Sooo, how was your morning?"

"Pretty good" he mumbled before Tsubame entered saving him from having to answer anything else.

She carried steaming bowls of what smelled like a fish stew. I smiled as she greeted us and set down her platter. Then she hurried back in with a pitcher of water and a pot of tea. She waved shyly to Yahiko as she hurried back to the kitchens. Quickly Megumi passed around the stew so I handed around the cups for tea. I pored two cups one for myself and one for Kenshin, before passing the pot to Megumi.

Settling into my place I snagged the water pitcher and pouring myself a cup drank thirstily. Then I turned to my food. Taking a quick sip of tea I tried the stew. '_Mmm… it's good'. _Listening intently to the conversations going on around me I finished off my meal.

After the meal, almost everyone had packing to do so they quickly left the room. Turning I faced Kaoru, who was gazing at me expectantly.

"Kaoru, what do you think of Yahiko accompanying the group going to Kapta?" for a moment she looked thoughtful,

"He wouldn't be much help. His training is going well, but he still needs someone to look after him." I nodded this confirmed what I had seen this morning. "Hmm, Sano and I will be right in the center of the fighting. I wouldn't be able to look after him, nor can I thrust him upon one of the men."

"Why is it so important that he goes?" she asked

"He insists on staying close to the fighters and I prefer he stays somewhere I can keep an eye on him." She nodded,

"In that case you need to find someone whose presence he will not resent," she smiled, "He's small but he has a grown man's pride." I looked at her pointedly. "Kenshin, I teach the sword that protects life. I won't take part in a covert military operation." I had expected this so I had an argument ready

"But, who better than his training master to keep an eye on him, and this way he can continue his training." Her blue eyes had hardened, she wasn't listening "Kaoru, I'm not asking you to kill, or become one of my soldiers. I just need someone I can trust looking after Yahiko. If I tell one of the men to look after him, in the heat of the fight they're likely to forget him and leave him to his own devices." Slowly the ice in her blue eyes softened as she listened to my words,

"Only to teach and continue to look out for Yahiko? Nothing more?" she asked

"You have my word." Her azure eyes gazed searchingly into mine.

"In that case I guess your group has fifteen." I nodded approvingly,

"Good, now I assume you will need more appropriate clothing for the road?" she nodded and began to list,

"I'll need one more pair of trousers and another gi; as well as a more sensible pair of shoes. All I have are geta. I need a pair of zori, and an oil cloth cloak." I nodded

"I can get most of that from the quartermaster but I'll need you with me for the clothing. We'll need to see the tailor for that. We can see about all of that this afternoon, if you don't mind."

"Alright," so standing I helped her to her feet and walked out into the hall way. Entering the front hall I could here the gentle patter of rain so stopping at the door I said,

"The quarter master's tent is just inside the wall near the gates, it's raining but we'll be fine." She nodded before grinning up at me saying,

"Don't worry Kenshin, I won't melt, I promise." I smiled slightly before pulling open the door and stepping into the rain. Quickly I walked across the courtyard; I could hear the quiet sound of her footsteps behind me. Keeping my head low we soon neared the tent only slightly damp.

Holding the flap I waited until she was inside before following myself. Glancing around I saw only three men were within the tent; two guards, the quartermaster, Natsu Narazaki and the fortress tailor, Kuri sarranya. As the men stood and bowed Kuri dropped a curtsy; nodding to them I said,

"Good afternoon Mistress Kuri, I was actually looking for you."

"Well, Himura-sama what can I do for you?" Kuri asked as she hurried over.

"This is Kaoru she needs a pair of pants, a gi, a good oilcloth cloak, and a pair of zori." Kuri nodded and walked over to Kaoru

"Hello dear, I am Kuri, I work here as a seamstress." She introduced herself, "Hmm, I think I have every thing you'll need up in my work room except the cloak, and zori." She said gesturing toward Narazaki who walked over and nodding to the women listened intently as Kuri rattled off what she needed.

"Okay Kaoru-dono let me see what I can do." quickly he walked back to his supplies and returned carrying a tan cloak and a pair of zori. "Will these work Kaoru-dono? They are the smallest pair I have."

"They look fine" she replied taking one and while carefully balancing on one foot slipped the zori on. Gently I gripped her arm to help her keep her footing. Nodding to me with a smile she removed the shoe and replacing her geta stood.

"They fit very well thank you" nodding Narazaki held out the cloak.

"Here try this on to see if we need to adjust the length." Taking it Kaoru threw the cloak about her shoulders and attached the clasp. The cloak completely covered her slim frame; over a foot of excess cloth pooling about her feet. Grinning Kaoru looked down

"Hmm, maybe it's a bit too long." Pulling a packet of pins from her obi, Kuri moved closer saying,

"Let me help" bending down she began to pin up the hem. When she finished Kaoru took off the cloak and surrendered it to Kuri's waiting grasp. "I'll finish this up in my workroom." motioning to the both of us she walked out into the rain.

I turned and taking the zori from Narazaki held aside the tent flap for Kaoru to walk ahead of me. Soon we reentered the fortress and followed Kuri upstairs to her workroom. Kuri had already laid the cloak on her work table and was rummaging about her cabinets to pull out a knotted string, a pincushion, and some paper.

"Okay dear, let's get your measurements." Kuri said grabbing Kaoru's arm she gently lead her behind a screen set up in a corner. After a few moments Kuri hurried out to write down her measurements, "Well my dear, aren't you petite, hmm I think I have something that will fit that waist of yours" she chattered happily as Kaoru emerged from behind the screen. I watched as Kuri flipped through a few neatly folded piles of clothing before she came back carrying two white gi's and a pair of dark gray wide leg trousers.

"Here you go dear these should fit you."

"Thank you, Kuri" Kaoru said smiling at her

"Not a problem, now it will take me just a moment to fix the hem on that cloak. If you don't mind I can do that now." With that Kuri sat down and set to work. Within five minutes she stood and handed Kaoru the bundle of clothing.

"There, now if there's anything else you need, dear don't hesitate to ask." And with that parting sentiment both Kaoru and I thanked her and left.

As we walked toward her rooms I spoke,

"We leave the day after tomorrow soon after dawn. Can you ride?" glancing over at me Kaoru shrugged saying,

"Honestly, I wouldn't know I've only ridden two or three times, and that was with someone else."

"Hmm, well that's a problem. I guess that's going to be your afternoon activity for the next two days." She looked at me skeptically,

"I'm going to learn how to ride in two days?" I nodded

"Yes, well more or less. I'm going to teach you how to stay on a horse in two days."

"Now?" she asked

"Yes," I replied, "it's only drizzling, so go change into your gi and pants and we'll go to the stables." She nodded then snagging her zori from me entered her rooms. I leaned back against the wall.

After lunch her demeanor had changed decidedly for the better. Once again Kaoru was the cool and collected young woman whose fiery spunk was so intriguing. I was glad she had snapped out of her stupor.

Soon her door opened and she exited her room wearing her navy blue pants and a white gi. Smiling I stood and walked down the hall outside.

Soon we came to the stables. Nodding to a few grooms I breathed deeply the smell of fresh hay and horse. Then glancing back to make sure Kaoru was still following walked down the aisle toward the tack room. Walking in I instructed Kaoru to grab a handful of grain as I picked up a saddle blanket and a simple leather bridle.

Then I beckoned to her and she followed me to a stall near the back of the stables. As we neared the stall door a lovely little buckskin mare poked her head over the top of the stall and nickered softly.

Setting the tack over the stall I gently placed my hands on her head and brushed the horse's thick black forelock out of her eyes.

"Kaoru, this is Thirrin, and she's going to be your horse. So I want you to go into her stall and get to know her." Kaoru nodded and entered the stall. I watched as she spoke softly to Thirrin feeding her the grain and stroking her flanks. Soon Kaoru was laughing softly as Thirrin eagerly nuzzled her pockets searching for more grain.

Kaoru was speaking quietly and softly to Thirrin, getting the animal accustomed to her voice. For all Kaoru's lack of actual ridding experience she knew how to work around an animal. After the two had warmed to each other I handed Kaoru the bridle. "Do you know how to put her bridle on?" taking it from my hands she shook her head,

"Not really will you show me?" I nodded and entered the stall.

Taking the bridle I pointed out the various parts of the simple leather bridle. Then taking the bit in my hand I gently fed it into Thirrin's mouth and pulled the bridle straps up over her head. Slipping her ears through the leather straps I loosely did up the buckles beneath her head and chin.

"Do you think you can do that?" I asked looking at Kaoru.

"I think so." She replied.

"Alright then remove the bridle and put it on yourself." I said stepping back to give her access to the bridle.

Moving forward she stood beside Thirrin's head and undid the buckles gently sliding the leathers over her ears to remove the bridle. Then she tried to orient the bridle in her hands like I had. From my position behind her I reached around her back and carefully helped to straighten the leathers in her hands. Surprised she had shied from my hands but quickly recovered thanking me quietly.

Then stepping back I watched over her shoulder as she gently fed the bit into Thirrin's mouth before lifting the leathers over her ears and doing up the buckles. Glancing over her shoulder at me she asked,

"How tightly should I clinch the buckles?"

"Snug, but still loose enough to slip two fingers under the strap." She nodded and checking her work, tightened one of the buckles.

"Good," I said as I opened the stall door and held it open, "I want you to lead her out. Grip the reins about a foot down from the bit and walk at her shoulder. "Taking the reins she led Thirrin out into the aisle and stopped. Closing the stall door I grabbed the saddle blanket.

"Okay lead her outside, I'll get the barn door behind you." Kaoru nodded and walked down the aisle. Opening the stable doors she led Thirrin through. Following I closed the door behind us. Then I gestured toward the fenced rectangle along the far wall of the stables.

"Lead her in there, I'll get the gate."

"Okay" Kaoru said as she led Thirrin into the enclosure. Entering I closed the gate behind myself. Walking over to the pair I threw the saddle blanket over Thirrin's withers

"Now, while it's only misting I want you to mount. Do you need a leg up?"

"I think I got it." She grinned at me as she passed me the reins. Then reaching up she took two fistfuls of Thirrin's mane and with surprising finesse swung herself up onto the horse. Thirrin danced a bit at the sudden change. Quieting the horse I looked up at Kaoru,

"Very good, now I can lead her for a while if you want to work on balance, but somehow I think you'll be fine. With that part at least." She smirked down at me,

"Well my balance should be fine. You think I went through all that kenjutsu training for nothing?" I grinned up at her through the swirling mist.

Suddenly she swung her damp hair over her shoulder causing her potent scent to hit me once more. I stopped breathing. Not good, the rain seemed to magnify her scent. Recovering quickly I handed her the reins and backed away, just to be safe.

"Okay to ask her for a walk forward click your tongue and tap her sides gently with your heels. To stop pull back on the reins and shift your weight back. Ask her to turn by shifting your weight in that direction and tugging gently on the left or right rein depending." Kaoru nodded,

"Okay got it, shift weight, reins, and click my tongue." I nodded,

"Just ask her for a walk and see if you can turn her in a circle."

Tentatively Kaoru tapped Thirrin with her heels and clicked her tongue. Thirrin flicked an ear in her direction and began to amble forward. Kaoru tapped her heels into her a bit more firmly and Thirrin snorted softly before increasing her pace to a quick walk.

"Good, try to turn her." I instructed from my position along the fence. Gently Kaoru tugged on the right rein. Thirrin acknowledged her efforts with a nonchalant ear flick before continuing straight. Choking up on the reins Kaoru pulled firmly on the right rein and was rewarded as Thirrin turned obligingly.

"Don't choke up quite so much on the rein. There should be a straight line from your elbow to the bit if you sit straight." I called as Kaoru sat a bit straighter and gave Thirrin some rein.

"Good, bring her back this way and see if she'll stop." She seemed to get her turned easily enough but it took several tries to get Thirrin to come to a halt.

"That's fine, next time shift your seat back as you give the command."

"Alright" Kaoru responded

"Now walk the circuit a few times and we'll see about a trot."

Kaoru was doing very well, her balance and posture was good and even though Thirrin was being stubborn she was handling it well. After they had made about four circuits, I felt comfortable moving them to a trot. Thirrin was being a bit more responsive now that she had warmed up and Kaoru was getting confidant on horseback.

Stopping them after their fifth round I said,

"Now Kaoru, to ask her for a trot get her going at a walk and then click your tongue and squeeze with your calves and heels. Keep a firm grip on her with your knees okay?" She nodded.

Soon she had Thirrin at a walk and asked Thirrin to trot. And for once she obeyed without any extra prompting. Kaoru quickly clutched her mane to stay on with the sudden change in gait.

"Loosen up, relax if you tense up you'll end up bouncing, move with her, and don't cling." Slowly Kaoru straightened up and attempted to sit the trot. Once again her warriors training asserted itself and she quickly regained her balance adjusting to the new rhythm of movement and releasing her grip on Thirrin's mane.

"Good, try to circle around" after they had managed around six circuits without incident I called out,

"Ask her to stop" obligingly Thirrin obeyed… a bit too well. She came to a dead stop pitching Kaoru forward onto her neck. Quickly Kaoru straightened and reseated herself a blush darkening her face.

"That's okay you got it. She's just disgruntled having to work in the rain." By now the mist had thickened into steady drizzle. "I think that's good for today walk her over here and you can dismount." Guiding Thirrin over toward me she handed me the reins before dismounting. Sliding off Thirrin's back she stumbled a bit in a patch of mud. "Careful!" I said as I grabbed for her so she wouldn't fall. I just managed to snag her around the waist with one arm. Pulling her to my side I steadied her while she got her feet under her. Softly she blushed, "Sorry, my legs are a bit unsteady from riding." I grinned

"That's alright. Just be glad we didn't spook Thirrin with that little move. Then we'd both be in the mud." She smiled at me,

"Thanks"

"You're welcome; now let's get Thirrin out of the rain." She nodded and removing the saddle blanket took the reins from me. Moving ahead of them I opened up the gate and stable door securing them as we passed. Taking the saddle blanket I said

"Just put her in the stall" she nodded and led Thirrin to her stall.

While she did that I walked into the tack room and put the saddle blanket up to dry. Then grabbing a dry rag I walked to the stall where a damp looking Kaoru was removing Thirrin's bridle,

"Good just drape that over the stall and rub her down with this." I instructed as I passed her the rag, "In wet weather or after your horse has had a good work out you must rub them down. Just use a gentle circular motion to dry her. If you're in a pinch you can use dry hay instead."

"That make's sense," she said as she rubbed Thirrin's neck, "they're just like your weapons. No matter how wet and tired you are you sit down and clean your blade."

"Yes," I agreed, "that's it exactly." After she finished drying Thirrin I said,

"Here, let's put up her tack and I'll show you how to feed her." Grabbing the bridle from its place on the top of the stall Kaoru picked up the rag and closing the stall door behind her followed me into the tack room. Putting up the tack I waited as Kaoru dropped the rag into the bin of rags along the wall. Then grabbing a small bucket I passed it to her telling her to fill it from the water barrel in the stables. Soon she returned with the bucket.

"Set that down there I want to show you how much grain Thirrin needs. She gets grain once in the morning and again in the evening. About two scoops." Opening the grain bin I grabbed another bucket and put in two scoops of grain. Then handing her the grain bucket I picked up the water and we walked back to Thirrin's stall. Setting them down with her I said,

"We're done here, Kaoru. You did very well."

"Thanks Kenshin." And leaving the stables we walked back toward the fortress. As we neared the quartermasters I stepped in Kaoru followed me. Narazaki bowed and asked,

"Is there any thing else you needed milord?" I nodded,

"I need a set of saddle bags." He nodded and after a little searching came forward with the requested item.

"Here you are."

"Thank you, Narazaki" I replied before both Kaoru and I hurried through the rain toward the fortress; standing just inside the overhand from the roof Kaoru turned and rung out her hair.

"Hmm, well I'd say that's about a pound lighter." I smiled and held the door open for her to enter. Incredulous she looked at me, "You're seriously going to track all that water inside?" I grinned

"Well my hands are kind of full" she snorted

"Men so helpless, here turn around"

"If you insist" I said and with an exaggerated long suffering sigh I turned. Soon I felt her small hands wringing out my long red hair.

"Sheesh, Kenshin yours was even wetter then mine was." Turning I smiled at her and gesturing toward the door said,

"If I am presentable now can we get out of the rain?" she smirked at me and nodded

As we walked toward our rooms I spoke,

"Now what ever you pack has to fit inside one of these saddle bags. The other is for provisions and your water." She nodded

"That's fine, what about bedrolls, tents, and the like?"

"We travel with one pack horse to carry bedrolls, tents, the horses' grain, etc. Anything more slows us down." She nodded,

"I can travel light, Kenshin; can I bring the bokken I've been practicing with in the dojo?" Warily I glanced at her,

"I was going to ask you about that. Kaoru, how do you feel about using a katana? I know you can use one. The bokken you use for sparring is weighted. It's only slightly lighter than a true katana." She stopped and turned to face me her blue eyes snapping with suppressed fire. Finally she spoke,

"Kenshin I can protect myself perfectly well with a simple bokken." Her voice was dead calm which contradicted sharply with her eyes. I stared her down.

"You will be in enemy territory. Surely you see the need for an actual weapon?" For a moment her steely gaze wavered. I pressed my advantage,

"Even your father must have had a sword. Peace loving doesn't have to mean stupid. What is wrong with using a katana if the need arises?" I gazed piercingly into her blue eyes. Finally she looked down and said,

"I'll think about it. Why don't you bring one to the dojo tomorrow and we'll see if I can even use one." I nodded satisfied that she would at least think it over. Handing her the saddle bags I said,

"That is all I ask, get into dry clothes and we'll break the good news to Yahiko." She nodded stiffly. And entered her rooms just as the door was closing I remembered what I meant to mention.

"Oh Kaoru?" poking her head out of her rooms she said,

"Yes Kenshin?" she was going to bite my head of anyway might as well get it out of the way quickly.

"I'll need you and Yahiko to share a tent." For a moment she just looked at me, "Just to keep you both separate form the men." I stated trying to reassure her. She nodded curtly and shut the door in my face.

For a moment I stared at the door. Then I sighed, I suppose I deserved that. But it was only for her safety. First of all she needed a weapon and second of all though he was young Yahiko would be able to look out for her. Not that I didn't trust my men, but until Kaoru was claimed it was a danger. Of course the obvious solution presented itself, '_I could let it be known she was mine._' A small insidious voice said. I banished the thought immediately. I had no right to force that upon her. And from the way she had reacted this morning I didn't think she would even remotely consider letting me come close enough to see to her protection, much less keep up any such pretense for the men.

Didn't she understand? That was the only way for any of the women to stay with my army. Though Megumi didn't act like it she and Sano were together. Misao was under Aoshi's care and protection. And no one in their right minds would bother the women of my staff as they had their lord's protection. As of yet she belonged to neither category.

I shook my head; this was going to be difficult. As I walked into my room to change I wondered. Why I was going to such lengths over a single girl? Yes she was very lovely, but many women were physically attractive. I admired her spirit. I also felt very protective of her. After seeing how she reacted to being grabbed, the thought of another man frightening her like that filled me with a slow burning rage.

And for all I needed someone to look after Yahiko I also didn't want to leave her behind. Oh I could lie to myself and say it was all for her wellbeing, but honestly I wanted to keep this beautiful and fiery woman near me.

* * *

I was standing in my washroom taking out my frustrations on my hair. What was wrong with that infuriating man! I was fully aware of the limitations of a bokken. How dare he imply I was being naïve? In my hands a bokken is all that is necessary. What had possessed him to bring my past into this! He knew nothing of my father! Still seething, I savagely dragged a brush through my wet snarled locks. Eventually I managed to get my hair into a fairly decent pony tail.

And that tent grrr… I wasn't stupid. I could understand why but sheesh! Did he think me completely incapable of protecting myself? After a few moments a small voice in the back of my head said, _'It's only because he cares._' I stopped dead. I was in the middle of changing. Where had_**that**_come from? Totally dismissing the errant thought I pulled on the gray green kimono. Grabbing the damp clothing I hung it up in my washroom.

For some reason that thought kept bothering me. For a moment I sat down to ponder it. Why on earth had that thought come to mind in the first place? Carefully I though through his actions; if nothing else he was always gentle around me careful not to hurt or frighten me after this morning. All afternoon he had been more than kind helping me with the horses, and catching me when I nearly wiped out dismounting. Internally I cringed ' _that had been a_ _both embarrassing and deeply uncomfortable position_' I was doubly grateful that he had not questioned me about my strange behavior this morning. And oddly I had welcomed the comfort of his embrace.

Now that I had calmed down enough to think objectively I understood that perhaps he honestly did care… I rolled that thought around in my mind. As I considered this I wondered why it was that I was beginning to warm to him. I shook my head. Those kinds of thoughts were dangerous.

I discovered that for perhaps the first time I had found someone who I felt a connection to. Someone I could trust. I had been honestly shocked when my body hadn't reacted with its usual panic and bolt when he had placed his arm around me so soon after I had panicked. I had felt so safe curled gently against his side. The gentle warmth emitted from his body was so calming. I hadn't been that close to another human other than Tae in years. I got up from my seat wondering vaguely what was wrong with me, before exiting the room and walking to dinner.

* * *

When Kaoru entered the meeting room everyone was already seated. She looked pensive and stayed fairly quiet. I thought that perhaps she had forgiven me for earlier. Sitting beside me she had eaten quickly and quietly. I wasn't worried her silence was no longer brooding only thoughtful. So leaving her to her thoughts I had told Yahiko he could accompany us to Kapta. He had been overjoyed. I had smiled at his enthusiasm, and told him I needed to speak to him after dinner. Kaoru had been the first to turn in. right after she finished eating she had excused herself. About half an hour or so later Megumi and Misao had bid us good night followed eventually by Sano and Aoshi. Yahiko looked at me intently.

"Now Yahiko I want you to know now that Kaoru will be accompanying us. She will look out for you." I stated he was looking a bit dejected and I continued, "This way she can continue your training. In return you need to look out for her as well. You two will be sharing a tent on the road and I need you to keep her safe." I said sternly. Yahiko nodded solemnly.

After a brief reminder about packing and such it occurred to me that I didn't know if Kaoru ever fought with a dagger or kodachi. So as he left I said,

"Yahiko?" stopping her turned,

"Yes?"

"Do you mind going by Kaoru's room to see if she's still awake? If she is just run by and tell me on your way to your room." He nodded and trotted of diligently. I hoped she would be more receptive to the idea now that it had had time to sink in…just then Yahiko came in. he looked somewhere between confused and frightened.

"Kenshin, something's wrong." He said. Standing I walked over,

"What's wrong? Tell me Yahiko." I snapped worried

"Well, I went to her door and knocked quietly, and I thought I heard her say something so I opened the door, but none of her candles were lit. I thought it was my imagination or something but I heard it again. She actually spoke. I heard her. So I went into her bedroom and she was just lying there fast asleep but there were tears all over her face." By now he looked quite frightened. Masking my own worry I quickly reassured him,

"I'll go check on her. Don't worry you head to bed." He nodded and left as I walked down the hall to her room.

For a moment I hesitated outside her rooms before entering. Her quarters were dark, but that was no problem for me. Entering her bedroom I saw her and understood what had unnerved Yahiko. She was lying on her bed. Her face perfectly smooth she had tears trickling down her cheeks. Walking closer I wondered if I should wake her when a look of pure terror flashed across her face. Reaching down I lit the small candle at he bedside. Gently I reached out and touched her shoulder softly saying,

"Wake up Kaoru, It's just a dream." Almost as soon as I touched her she tensed her eyes snapped open. The tears continued to run silently down her face. Startled by my proximity she shivered under my touch. Quickly I removed my hand and she scooted out of my reach clutching the bed clothes to her chest.

Her blue eyes were wide with fear and her black hair tumbled about her shoulders. She looked like a frightened child. I was worried, she had yet to speak, and though her eyes were locked on me they had a glassy look and her facial expression was peaceful.

"Kaoru, it's alright, don't be afraid, you're safe." I spoke softly hoping she would return to herself. Slowly I reached toward her but the moment I touched her, a shudder of fear racked her tightly tensed body. I removed my hand.

Suddenly her gaze sharpened and confusion appeared on her face,

"Kenshin, what are you doing here?" she asked her voice cracking. The confusion was quickly being replaced with anger,

"I sent Yahiko to see if you were still awake and he came back frightened. He asked me to check on you." I replied worried

"Whatever for? I was asleep. Nothing's wrong." She said slowly I reached toward her face. She eyed my hand warily but didn't pull away; tensing slightly when I touched her face. Gently I wiped the tears still trickling from her eyes. Slowly I retracted my hand letting her see the crystalline droplets on my fingers quietly I said,

"Nothing's wrong?" surprised she gazed at my hand for a moment before raising a hand to her cheek and feeling the tears dripping down her face. Looking at the translucent drops clinging to her slender fingers I heard her quietly say,

"I haven't had that dream in over four years." I gazed at her concerned. Her voice had taken on a detached tone and though her face remained calm tears made silvery paths down her cheeks. Reaching out once again I tenderly wiped them away and instead of removing my hand left it softly stroking her face with my thumb.

"Would you like to talk about it?" I asked softly wiping another tear as I worked its way down her face. Hesitantly she moved her hand up to cover mine. I continued to gently cradle her face as she leaned into my touch. Quietly she began to speak,

"My mother was a beautiful woman." A soft smile crossed her face, "father always boasted she was the prettiest woman in the country." Her expression darkened slightly,

"Our lord certainly though so," as she spoke her voice got quieter until she was barely whispering the words. "It was spring time mother was sweeping off the porch and my little sister was playing in the front. I was in the front room looking out the window into the front yard when a group of men rode by. They must have been slightly drunk. Laughing and jeering they said terrible things to mother, she was worried and called my sister to her side. My father must have heard the commotion. He came out of the dojo with his sword at his side."

As she spoke the tears fell faster and her grip on my hand tightened. "I was too scared to move. They said they were taking her for their lord." She shuddered, "my father would never have let them take her. The moment they dismounted he attacked. There must have been ten men. He cut down four before they killed him. My mother was begging them to take her and leave my sister alone. But they were so angry. At my father for killing some of them they grabbed my sister and killed her; right in front of mother. Then they tried to grab mother, but she didn't go quietly. She fought back. Finally one of the men grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. After a moment mother stopped moving."

The tears slid unheeded down her face. "They probably would have looted the house except when someone realized they had killed her they panicked. I guess that the point of it had been to take her alive. They left then." I was shocked. She had witness the murder of her entire family. Violent tremors began to rack her thin frame. Sitting down on her bed I gently pulled her trembling body toward my side.

Wrapping the blankets firmly around her I pulled her gently against my chest. Enfolding her in my arms I quietly waited for the tremors to subside. Slowly they ceased and her tightly clenched body slumped against me exhausted.

Carefully I removed my arms and began to shift away from her. I didn't think she would appreciate my presence my presence much longer. I was surprised when I felt her small hand clutch my gi. Looking down at her I heard her whisper,

"Please don't leave me alone." Her face was turned away from me hidden by the thick curtain of her hair. Gently I reached down and lifted her chin so I could see her eyes. Her soft blue eyes were filled with pleading, "Please I'll dream of them again." She whispered

"It's alright, I won't leave you." I replied in what I hoped was a soothing tone. Hesitantly I lowered my arms about her slender form. She settled gently into my embrace. She was exhausted. Soon her breathing deepened and slowed.

Gazing down on her sleeping face I tenderly wiped the remnants of tears from her cheeks. Her tears troubled me. She didn't sob or wail or go into hysterics like other women did when they cried. In fact if tears hadn't been rolling down her face I wouldn't of known she was distressed. Somehow her silent tears seemed more poignant. Like her soul was weeping. If Kaoru had sobbed and screamed I would have known how to deal with her, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to leave the silent girl cradled in my arms.

Silently I listened to her steady breathing. I had extinguished the candle's feeble light long ago, being able to see more clearly without the flickering shadows it cast. Eventually I became accustomed to the cloying fragrance of her blood and it gave way to the cleansing scent of jasmine. She had fallen asleep her head resting on my chest; her blue black hair cascading about her sleeping figure, like silken tendrils of night.

It had been a long time since a woman had fallen asleep in my arms. Gazing at her sleeping face, I was glad that my presence could keep Kaoru's personal horrors at bay, at least for tonight. I treasured the fragile trust she had extended toward me, drifting to sleep in my arms.

I lay with her for a long time. It may have been hours or minutes that passed in that quiet room. Eventually I uncurled her body from its loose curl. Laying her in a more comfortable position I slowly slid out from under her still form and stood. Turning silently I gazed down on her silent figure. Hesitantly I gently stroked her face, running my hand softly over her porcelain skin. She was so beautiful. When she stirred I pulled myself from my reverie and quietly left the room hoping that tonight Kaoru's still bleeding heart had begun to mend.

* * *

Wow... long chapter. So much typing...

Hmm that took forever to get write. Please drop a review ^_^ if only so I can tell your still reading the fic

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin... yet...


	13. Chapter 13

Ch 13

Blade

When I woke from my deep and dreamless sleep, I felt as though some great weight had been removed from my shoulders. I had let down the barriers in my mind to share my pain with another. And for the first time I hadn't been forced to ride out the painful aftermath of that nightmare alone; the horrified tremors that sometimes lasted for hours and the endless trickle of tears.

I had long ago ceased to sob and cry, but the tears always came. I had needed Kenshin last night. The overwhelming peace I felt in his arms, the warmth and safety of his embrace had helped insulate me from the terrors of my memory.

Getting up I decided I needed a bath after last nights tumult. Until now I had been making due with a cold rinse in the tub, but today I needed to wash my hair. Padding over to the clothing chest I grabbed the gray hakama and a white gi. Walking into the washroom, I filled the tub with cold water. Even in April, the morning was still to humid to take a warm bath.

Fingering the navy blue hakama and gi I had worn yesterday I wrinkled my nose. They smelled strongly of horse. Shaking my head I chuckled that had been a difficult experience. Thirrin was, of course, a lovely animal, but who knew it could be so darn hard to stay atop her. Pull the clothing down I decided I might as well wash them.

Filling the tub I quickly hopped in and scrubbed off with the small jar of soap sand I had. My hair took a bit longer but soon I had it clean and rinsed. Bushing it out I left it fanned out across my shoulders to dry.

Then I threw all my dirty clothes into the bathwater and gave them a quick scrub. Wringing out the excess water I hung them back up to dry.

Slipping into my clean hakama* and gi, I eyed my outfit critically. No, it wasn't lady like to wear my training clothes to a meal but I didn't feel like having to wear confining skirts today. Honestly, I was getting a bit exhausted with all the changing.

Carefully rising I managed to dump the contents of my tub out the window without any mishaps. Glancing out into the steady drizzle I realized it wasn't much past dawn. I had woken quite early this morning.

Placing the wooden basin I had used as a tub back into the washroom. I considered my hair; somehow I didn't feel like pulling it up until it dried. So I left it as it was, my still slightly damp hair hanging down my back to dry.

Moving back into my bedroom I scooped up the saddle bags. Walking to my clothing chest I packed in some hair ties the extra gi and the cloak. I would finish my packing later once all my clothing had dried.

Tying a hair tie about my wrist I slipped out of my rooms and walked down toward the infirmary. Opening the door I looked in, '_hmm…empty_'. Deciding to wait for Megumi I took a seat on one of the cots and went over my meager packing list. I was pretty much set. I might need to grab a few extra pairs of tabi**…

Soon Megumi walked in yawning. From my position on the cot I called a greeting,

"Morning, still feeling sleepy?" turning toward my voice she scowled,

"You are much too lively this morning. Do you never over sleep?" I grinned,

"Sorry Megumi, years of waking at dawn to practice tends to have that effect on people." She conceded the point grudgingly. Getting up I walked with her to the meeting room.

"So Kaoru you're going to be with Kenshin's group right?" I nodded,

"That's the plan anyway."

"Good, you leave tomorrow morning huh? If you need anything just tell me." I smiled saying,

"Yeah, I'm packing pretty light; just a brush, a change of clothes, some extra tabi, and a cloak."

"Hmm, that sounds pretty good, though you may want to pack a yukata so you can sleep dry." She suggested,

"Umm… I'm sharing the tent with Yahiko…" I murmured,

"Oh! Well then, bring a kimono. Something a bit thicker and you can just leave off the obi." I nodded,

"Thanks, that's a good idea. I was just going to sleep in my gi." She shook her head,

"If you did that you'd be wet," she grinned at me, "Yahiko will just have to deal." We chuckled softly as we walked into the meeting room.

Kenshin, Aoshi, and Misao were seated around the table. After squealing out a welcome Misao went back to chattering animatedly at Aoshi. Sitting down beside Kenshin I softly murmured,

"Thank you for last night, Kenshin" grasping my hand under the table he asked,

"Are you feeling better?" I smiled and squeezed his hand gently,

"Yes, I'm doing much better thanks to you." He smiled kindly at me and ran a gentle hand through the back of my hair,

"I'm glad. You look older with your hair down." I blushed softly. Just then Yahiko and Sano came in. Yahiko was carrying a pot of tea and Sano had a pitcher of water. Behind them Tsubame entered with a few small plates and a platter of onigiri*** setting down what they carried, Sano and Yahiko took their seats. Tsubame set down her platter and thanking the two of them left.

Leaning forward I snagged the pile of plates and passed them around as Megumi served the onigiri settling into my seat I smiled gratefully at Kenshin. He had poured me a cup of green tea. So, cradling the delicate china in my hands I fell into the easy meal time routine he and I had adopted.

Setting down the cup I picked up one of the onigiri, '_Mmm, pickled plum_' I smiled I loved this type of filling. Finishing off the onigiri, I picked up one that looked like it was miso filled and nibbled thoughtfully.

I had never actually used a katana. A good sword was expensive and I couldn't bring myself to use my father's, not after… come to think of it, his katana still lay at the bottom of my clothing chest under my mother's kimonos… hearing my name I disentangled myself from my absent minded musings and turned my attention to Kenshin,

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever used a katana before?" slowly I shook my head,

"They're too expensive. I never had enough to buy one even if I could have convinced someone to sell a sword to a girl." He nodded,

"Have you ever worked with a kodachi or any of the shorter blades?"

"No I can't use them very well, the range on the weapon throws off some of my blocks."

"I see, if you're finished see if Yahiko minds beginning his training earlier. We'll need the time to work with your katana." I nodded grudgingly, I still wasn't too happy about the katana, but then again I had never been one to stay angry for long. If you survived my first fiery bout of temper I generally forgave you eventually.

Turning to Yahiko I beckoned to him and the three of us rose and excusing ourselves left the room. Once Yahiko had run off to change Kenshin grinned down at me,

"Did you finally loose patience with skirts?" glancing down at my attire I shrugged sheepishly,

"They were annoying and restricted my movement." He smirked,

"Fair enough," then stopping me outside the dojo he said, "Here let me help you with that." And catching my wrist he snagged the hair tie and despite my halfhearted protests spun me around. I could feel his nimble hands carefully gathering the long black mass and putting it up.

Then he reached over my shoulder and swung open the dojo door before ushering me inside. Stepping around me he walked toward the weapons rack. Studying it I realized that there was a new addition in the rack. I watched intrigued as Kenshin reached down and picking up the blade her turned and held it out to me.

Hesitantly, I took the blade from his hands; the hilt was a simple affair of black leather with an unadorned rounded guard. It was the sheath that drew my attention. Comprised of ebony black metal the sheath had an obsidian-like quality. Colors seemed to shift before my eyes as I slowly tilted the blade in my hands, pale flashes of color streaked the jet surface. Pale greens, lavenders, and many shades of blue danced across the sheath. Elegant scrolling designs were etched into the mirror smooth surface.

Grasping the hilt I drew the blade. It was very simple, a cool gray length of gently curving steel. Its austere beauty was only enhanced by the thin black strip running down the spine of the blade. Slowly turning it I realized the strip was of the same metal as the sheath. A bit awed I looked up at Kenshin who had waited silently during my inspection of the katana.

"It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you approve" he murmured with a smile.

Slowly I drew the blade completely free of the sheath. Glancing around I was about to set the sheath on the ground when Kenshin reached out and helpfully took the sheath. Stepping back to give myself some space I began to move through a basic kata.

It was different from using my bokken; the steel seemed to cut the air. A sense of finality touched my motions. I was surprised by how light the katana felt the balance was perfect. It almost seemed to be an extension on my arm. Finishing the kata I held the katana before me almost reverently,

"This is an exquisite weapon, how did you find one on such short notice?" he nodded,

"Yes it's a magnificent blade, one of the best worked blades I've come across in years I found it many years ago and I couldn't pass up the opportunity. So it's just been hanging around in my rooms for a while now. Now it will finally go to good use." As he spoke he handed me the sheath and as I slid the blade home I glanced up at him mischievously,

"You know, just because it's a beautiful weapon doesn't mean you're forgiven." He grinned,

"I'll keep that in mind, Kaoru." Just then Yahiko entered catching sight of the blade he hurried over,

"Wow! Is that your katana Kaoru? It's seriously awesome!" glancing over at Kenshin who nodded a smug smile tugging at his lips before saying,

"It seems so," after Yahiko had finished ogling the katana I turned his attention to practice. Reluctantly I set my katana against the wall. I was loathe to admit it but Kenshin was right, I needed a true blade, and he had provided one that was just as beautiful as it was deadly. I was reluctant to admit that I was becoming attached to my katana. I liked the feel of it in my hands.

Grinning I grabbed my bokken and began Yahiko's lesson. He was learning rapidly. Already he could move through a few basic kata. I watched closely as he moved through the stances slowly. Adjusting his stance here, shifting his grip there. I decided that today would be dedicated to technique. We would have plenty of time for endurance and strength training later. Soon I had him working through each of the blocks and attacks I had taught him, ten moves total.

As I watched Yahiko attempt each of the moves I felt Kenshin's gaze. My back prickled, though not unpleasantly. I refused to acknowledge how uncomfortable he was making me. Internally I squashed my desire to fidget. Why was he eyeing me so intently? More importantly, why was I so aware of it?

The minute Yahiko finished I suggested we work through his blocks with me attacking and vise versa. He nodded enthusiastically. I sighed with relief, at least I would be moving. As I concentrated on Yahiko I felt my awareness of Kenshin's warm gaze fade to the edges of my consciousness.

By the end of Yahiko's practice I had taught him one more attack move and three new blocks. As he hurried toward the door after I dismissed him I heard Kenshin say,

"Be sure to get your bokken packed, Yahiko."

"Don't worry I wi-" was all we heard before the door shut I couldn't help but laugh softly at his obvious excitement. As I turned from the door I watched as Kenshin stood. Until now he had been leaning nonchalantly against the wall. He moved with an almost predatory grace a man completely at ease in his own skin.

"Do you want to practice a few more kata with your katana or spar?"

"I'm actually feeling pretty good about the katana. It's much lighter then I expected. I'd rather spar."

"Good" picking up a bokken he met me in the center of the room as he neared me he said, "Would you rather spar until one of us is disarmed?" I grinned at him, honestly grateful for his consideration,

"And let you get off easy? No way!"

"If you're sure," he said,

"Really I'm fine; I don't want to be coddled." A small smile on his face he said,

"That I would not do," nodding in silent approval.

For a moment we eyed each other. When he held a weapon his whole demeanor changed. The delicate almost girlish planes of his face hardened and the striking cross shaped scar adorning his face stood out drastically. As I watched him warily I wondered how he had come by it. It gave his otherwise fine featured looks a hard rugged edge, drawing attention to his intense amber eyes.

Suddenly his stance shifted. The movement was almost imperceptible but it gave me the brief warning I needed before her rushed me. Quickly I moved to block his attack. As our weapons connected I attempted to force him back straining against his unbelievable strength '_curse male upper body strength_'. I managed to force him back half a step before I attempted a quick strike at his head.

Instead of blocking he ducked avoiding my bokken and making a quick strike at my midsection. Lunging to the side I managed to avoid his thrust. I ducked into a quick defensive crouch preparing for the sudden onslaught of blows. His strikes were lightning quick.

Concentrating I pushed my speed to the limits and managed to meet each of his moves. Finally a small gap presented itself and I took advantage of the weakness making a slash at his knees which he effortlessly blocked. Quickly I used the rebound off his block to make a crescent attack cut at his midsection.

Caught off guard he managed to barely deflect the move and I landed a sound hit on hid side just below the ribs. As he stumbled out of my range I leapt forward hoping to press my advantage only to be blocked once again.

Soon he landed a few glancing blows to my shoulder, hip, and arm. In return he received a good jab to the ribs and a partially deflected hit to the arm. I was worried about the sweat clinging to my brow. If it dripped into my eyes, I'd be in trouble.

Lunging forward I forced him back attempting to wipe the sweat before he recovered. Unfortunately Kenshin proved quicker than I and before I realized what had happened he had me disarmed and pulled tightly against his chest. Still breathing heavily I felt him chuckle softly his chest vibrating against my back,

"Well done, Kaoru," releasing me he stepped back grinning. I just shook my head,

"How do you _**do**_ that? I could have sworn I was holding my own this time." I stated with a grin.

"You did very well" he replied. I quirked a brow at him, bending down he grabbed my bokken and handed it to me, "You landed more hits this time" I smirked at him as we walked toward the rack to put up our bokkens.

"I can't imagine what it must be like to face your more advanced techniques, as powerful as you are now."

"Now Kaoru, what would the point of that be. Then neither of us would get a workout." His eyes glittered mischievously. Rounding on him with mock indignation I said,

"Are you patronizing me?!" he grinned devilishly at me before saying,

"Oh no, never that," Setting down my bokken I said,

"Good," then I scooped up my katana and dropping the act I said,

"Thank you for this. It's beautiful." He nodded,

"A fitting weapon for you; exquisite and deadly," startled I looked up at him. What did he mean by _**that**_? Again he was gazing warmly at me. Meeting his amber eyes I felt my heart squeeze and my breath hitched in my throat. Embarrassed I felt my cheeks flush from more than just our sparing. I did manage to curb my desire to hide my face; instead I met his gaze stubbornly, saying,

"I probably need to change before lunch." He nodded and followed as I walked out of the dojo toward our rooms. He moved almost silently at my side. As we reached my door he stopped my saying,

"Wait, you need this," and handed me a strong length of braided cord. Taking it from his hand I looked at him quizzically

""For what exactly?"

"Your katana will be a bit heavy to be worn through your sash. Here let me show you." I passed him the katana. Holding it out he pointed out two leather guards wrapped around the top of the sheath. Taking the cord he slipped it through the loops and said, "There now it can be secured either to your saddle bags or at your side." I nodded,

"Thank you," holding my hands out for the katana. Ignoring my hands Kenshin stepped closer and secured my sword to my side his hands sliding gently over my hip before he removed his hands. Instead of stepping back he remained standing beside me. Tilting my head back I looked up into his face. An intimate protective look hovered in his eyes.

Feeling a bit crowded I stepped back and opening the door to my rooms I muttered a quick thanks before making my getaway. Closing the door I let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. What was wrong with me? He was just being helpful. Wasn't he?

Dismissing my flustered thoughts I walked into my rooms and removing the katana stripped out of my training clothes. Slipping into the simple yellow kimono I had worn before. Rummaging through the clothing chest I grabbed the lavender kimono from two nights ago and slipped it into my saddle bags before I forgot to pack it.

Then I gently propped my katana against the wall beside the chest. Running a hand over the sheath I gazed at the strange metal captivated by its ethereal beauty. Standing I walked into my sitting room. For a moment I just stood there listening to the claming rhythm of rain. As I listened, all other noises seemed to fade away and for a while I let my subconscious drift listening as the sounds of cooling rain echoed about me.

* * *

Standing outside her door I smiled softly and turned to walk into my rooms. She was beginning to trust me, or at the very least she had stopped shying way from me like a frightened animal.

I had been surprised at how quickly she had accepted the katana. A remarkable weapon I was glad it would finally be put to its intended use. As I walked toward the meeting room I went over all the last minute preparations. I needed to speak with Sano about. I should probably see to them myself but somehow I didn't want to forfeit my excuse to spend time with Kaoru. I grinned remembering her acute embarrassment at slipping off Thirrin's back.

Then I stepped into the meeting room; Aoshi, Misao, Sano and Yahiko were seated. Taking my place I immediately began going over traveling logistics with them. Working through the supply numbers I wondered absently if I ought to let Kaoru meet Guenhwyvar…

* * *

Mush calmer after my brief respite from everyone, I entered the meeting room and took a seat beside Kenshin. He was obviously engaged speaking to Aoshi and Sano. I felt a bit guilty for taking up all his time. Trying to take my mind off the nagging guilt I felt I turned to Misao happy to listen to her cheerful voice.

"Hey Kaoru, How'd your morning go?" she chirped

"It was good, I got through Yahiko's training and Kenshin gave me a really well made katana."

"Oh my gosh! Really! Will you let me see it?" I nodded surprised by her outburst

"It's in my rooms. I absolutely love how light it is, and the balance is something else. It feels like an extension of my arm." A gentle voice at my side quickly captured both Misao's and my attention.

"I'm glad you appreciate the katana, Kaoru. It will go to good use in your hands." I felt my cheeks warm at his compliment and cursed my pale complexion. Internally I slapped myself I was no love sick girl fluttering to the attention of a crush. Perversely I felt my stomach flip as I met his warm gaze. The intensity of his gaze was becoming palpable when thankfully Misao ended the moment with a series of rapid fire questions about the appearance and quality of the blade.

Grateful for the distraction I answered as best I could, Kenshin filling in the blanks. I learned that the sheath was in fact tempered steel which had been fused with a rare mineral giving the metal its unique appearance as well as added strength. The reason for the black strip along the blade's spine was added durability. The metal also had the disadvantage of being fairly brittle making it impossible to create a blade composed entirely of the metal.

I was surprised and intrigued by his obvious knowledge about the katana, and bladesmithing in general. While we were speaking had Megumi entered and Tsubame had served what turned out to be a noodle stew. Listening intently to the velvety tones of Kenshin's voice I had passed around cups and poured the two of us tea. Returning my full attention to the conversation I noticed that Yahiko was also listening intently.

Eventually our conversation trailed off as Misao reclaimed Aoshi's attention and Sano began speaking to Kenshin. I spoke quietly with Megumi as we both finished off our bowls. Nursing my cup of tea I let myself bask in the easy comfort of female companionship. I sighed softly missing Tae. Brushing aside my momentary wistfulness I turned my attention back to Megumi. Eventually, Sano, Aoshi, and Misao stood and took their leave. Kenshin turned to me saying,

"If you're ready, you can change and we'll go to the stables." I nodded and standing walked to the door followed closely by Kenshin. We distinctly heard Megumi call out,

"Good luck!" as the door shut. As we walked down the hall I said,

"I feel bad for taking up all your time. I'm sure one of the grooms or Yahiko or someone would be happy to give me a hand with Thirrin."

""It's alright Kaoru, Sano and Aoshi have everything well in hand. I don't mind helping you with Thirrin. Your company is enjoyable." Again I was caught in his deep amber eyes. Feeling my cheeks warm I decided I'd had enough. In a calmly curious voice I asked,

"Why do you keep doing that?" Kenshin smiled innocently at me…too innocently before replying,

"Doing what?" _'Grr…the man was pushing my buttons on purpose_.' So in a sweet voice I helpfully informed him,

"That way you keep looking at me. Vaguely unnerving if you ask me." Chuckling softly his eyes softened taking on a friendly cast. We were nearing my door. As I turned to enter I felt Kenshin's hand on my arm. A teasing light was in his eye as he said,

"I truly apologize for upsetting you," before turning an almost predatory grin on me.

"Ack! Kenshin stop it!" I said swatting playfully at his hand and spinning out of his reach.

"You wound me." I grinned at him as I replied,

"Yes, my heart bleeds for you," and slipped into my rooms. I could hear his warm laughter following me. I felt a gentle mirth rise in my own throat and I chuckled softly as I stepped out of my kimono and pulled on the navy blue hakama and gi from this morning.

I smiled of all the reactions I had expected Kenshin's mischievous banter had not been one. I was glad he had dropped his careful and distant façade. I had been afraid that after last night he would treat me differently. Instead he was kind and warm; I was surprised at how close I was letting Kenshin get. Somehow this powerful, yet kind lord had wormed his way past the many layers of fear and pain that usually tainted my interactions with others. I smiled willing, for the moment, to push aside the instinctual fear of his intentions and bask in the safety and peace his presence afforded.

A soft smile still gracing my lips, I tightened my sash and stepped out of my rooms. A still grinning Kenshin met my gaze.

"Ready?" he asked

"More or less" I replied as I followed him toward the stables. Walking quickly through the steady rain, I felt the rain slowly seep through my hair and drip steadily down my ponytail. Shaking my damp bangs from my face I hurried doggedly after Kenshin.

Finally we neared the stables I stepped quickly into the relative shelter the roof provided by the roof as Kenshin opened the door. Holding the door for me he waited while I entered, before getting out of the rain himself. I walked at his side down the aisle toward the tack room.

"Wonder how much longer the rain will continue." I mused as I wrung water from my hair. Once again Kenshin pushed his long red bangs out of his eyes as he answered,

"I'm hoping it'll hold out another week." Then he muttered cryptically, "It would simplify things." Again I felt I was missing something. So many of the comments and discrepancies I observed around me screamed that something was off, yet I did not question it. I told myself I was just being patient that I would be enlightened in time, but subconsciously I feared learning the true reason for it all. The importance of rain, the heavily darkened rooms I shook my head bringing myself back to the present.

Quickly I scooped up Thirrin's bridle as Kenshin grabbed the tan saddle blanket.

"Here, I want you to meet someone." He said and I followed him out of the tack room to a stall at the very back of the stables. On the door a metal plate said one word, Guenhwyvar. A black stallion had his head over the stall door. He had a single white stripe through his mane. Walking over Kenshin stroked the animal

"Kaoru, this is Guenhwyvar." Guenhwyvar was huge; his withers came just below the top of Kenshin's head. His large brown eyes stared intently at me, intelligence gleaming in their depths. Slowly I held out my hand. Guenhwyvar allowed me to stroke his muzzle.

"He's beautiful Kenshin, is he yours?" Kenshin nodded.

"I'm surprised he's letting you this close he tends to be a bit hostile to others." Kenshin grinned sheepishly. I smiled,

"I'm glad he approves of me." He smiled down at me

"I wanted him to meet you" I nodded musing aloud,

"Guenhwyvar… it's an interesting name. Does it mean anything?" Kenshin glanced sharply at me and I pretended not to notice, quietly he murmured,

"Shadow…His name is shadow."

"Hmm... it's beautiful… I've never heard the language before…" I trailed of my attention fixed pointedly on Guenhwyvar's large black muzzle which I was stroking gently.

"You wouldn't have. It's very, very old." He finally stated. I nodded I knew when to leave well enough alone. Giving Guenhwyvar one last pat on the nose I said,

"We should look in on Thirrin. Thanks for letting me meet him; he looks almost like Sano's Zanza except for his mane." Kenshin nodded and we walked toward Thirrin's stall. Seeing us she nickered a friendly greeting. Walking over I set the bridle over the top of the stall,

"Hello there girl, how are we today?" I greeted her carefully letting myself into the stall as I crooned nonsense to Thirrin. Then taking the bridle I struggled to get the thing in my hands correctly. I could feel Kenshin's patient gaze on me, finally I got the straps right and fed the bit into Thirrin's sensitive mouth with surprisingly few difficulties. Securing the buckles I smoothed my hands over Thirrin's thick black mane.

"Very good Kaoru, now just leader her outside, I'll get the doors and gate behind you."

"Okay" I replied as I lead the little buckskin out of the stall and down the aisle. Thirrin was cooperating with me today, and instead of fighting my lead, she seemed almost eager to get outside. Pushing open the stable doors I lead Thirrin out into the rain, and into the gated pen. Soon Kenshin followed closing the gate behind him. Walking over he settled the saddle blanket onto Thirrin's back and took the reins from my hand saying,

"Now, do you remember all the commands I taught you?" I nodded,

"Yeah,"

"Alright, then I want you to walk the perimeter three times and we'll see about a trot."

"Sounds good" I replied as I grasped two handfuls of Thirrin's mane and vaulted onto her back. Thirrin pranced and shied a bit, but Kenshin held her still while I got my seat. Handing up the reins he walked away to lean against the fence. Firmly I dug my heels into Thirrin's sides and clicked my tongue thankfully she decided to move forward at a brisk walk. Glad she wasn't being stubborn I tried asking her to turn and realized I'd spoken too soon. After I choked up on the reins a bit and pulled firmly I got an annoyed ear flick and a slight change in direction, I sighed.

Managing the third loop with fewer difficulties I heard Kenshin call out,

"Ask her for a trot." Nervously I squeezed with my calves and heels clicking my tongue. Thirrin obeyed, the new gait quickly threw me off balance, but I stubbornly gripped her with my knees and hung on.

"Good, now ask her to stop." Kenshin instructed. Thirrin ignored the first few stop cues I gave her before she finally came to a dead stop as I shifted my seat back and yanked a bit savagely on the reins. Once I'd gotten the prancing and blowing mare under control, Kenshin walked over.

"That's fine. Now you're going to attempt a canter. This will be one of the hardest gaits to sit so I want you to wrap the reins around your left hand and grip her mane well before you ask her for a canter. The cue once she's trotting is to move your heels back and tap her sides. See if you can sit the canter. Make sure to keep your core muscles loose. Move with the horse." I nodded nervously and patting Thirrin's shoulder muttered,

"C'mon girl, go easy on me." Before gripping her firmly with my knees and getting her up to a trot. Once I had her at a good pace I readjusted my seat and wrapped the reins firmly around my left hand. Digging both hands deep into her mane I asked for a canter. Even though I expected it if my hands hadn't been knuckle deep in her mane I would have fallen off. The brisk bouncing motion of Thirrin's trot abruptly gave way to a rolling rocking canter. Instinctively my body tensed trying to cling and I heard Kenshin call out,

"Relax Kaoru! Move _**with**_ the horse!" Just then I tipped forward nearly bashing my face into Thirrin's neck. Finally I managed to follow his instructions and instead of being bounced and knocked about I managed to adjust my momentum and sit up. After about three circuits Kenshin called out,

I think you've got it. Why don't see if you can release the death grip on her mane?" laughing I disentangled my hands and grasped the reins correctly.

"Good, now I want you to alternate the gaits, trot a circuit then canter. Get used to the transition." I nodded and tugged gently on the reins. Thirrin, being stubborn, came to a dead stop effectively pitching me forward onto her neck. Muttering venomously about the fate of obtuse horses I reseated myself and worked Thirrin back up to a trot, then a canter, managing to sit both gaits.

"Good, now since she's being stubborn instead of tugging the reins when you ask her to slow, just shift your seat back." Obediently I shifted my weight back and was rewarded with a fast bouncing trot. Patting Thirrin's neck I muttered my standard litany of praise,

"Good girl, Thirrin, good job…" and continued to move from a trot to a canter and back. After about ten circuits Kenshin had me walk her out for cool down. Grateful to give my sore backside a rest I asked Thirrin for a walk. Vindictively, Thirrin gave a halfhearted buck before she settled into a brisk walk. After about five minutes Kenshin decided that we had done enough.

"That's good, walk her over here and you can dismount."

Asking Thirrin to stop, I miraculously managed to keep my seat. Handing Kenshin the reins, I braced my hands on Thirrin's withers before trying to swing over. I was not going to slip. Swinging a leg over Thirrin I carefully lowered myself till I was on my stomach slung half way over her back.

I was slowly letting myself down her side when I felt two warm hands grip me about the waist. A startled yelp escaped me and my hands flew to grip his wrists as Kenshin gently lowered me to the ground his warm breath ghosting across my damp skin raising goose bumps along my arms.

"Shh, it's alright." Kenshin murmured as his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into my sides. Slowly I let my grip on his wrists go slack, a slight shiver sliding down my spine. I could feel the warmth of his body on my back and the heat of his hands seemed to burn me through my damp clothing. Of their own accord my hands slipped down his wrists to lace with his fingers.

Gently he removed his hands from my side and I turned to face him. His warm amber eyes were flecked and streaked with burning gold as he gazed down at me though the swirling mist. I felt trapped by his heated gaze but the fear fluttering at the edges of my consciousness was held at bay by his soothing presence.

Almost hesitantly Kenshin lifted his hand and wiped my damp bangs out of my eyes his warm calloused fingers lingering on my face. I could only stare wordlessly at him my instinctual fear clamoring in my chest against the warm safety Kenshin seemed to exude.

"Let's get Thirrin dried off." He murmured softly. I nodded mutely as I was freed from his gaze. Hesitantly, I slipped from between his and Thirrin's rather imposing forms. Grabbing her reins I began leading her toward the gate, Kenshin moving just ahead of me to open it. Entering the barn I soon felt the chill of my wet clothing as the warm dry air of the stables engulfed me.

Hearing the barn door close I quickly walked down the aisle to Thirrin's stall. Leading her in, I removed her now damp saddle blanket and draped it over the stall door. It was soon joined by her bridle.

I was about to leave her to get a rag when Kenshin walked over carrying a bucket in one hand and two rags in the other. Letting himself into the stall he set down the bucket of grain and handed me a rag, before moving to the opposite side of Thirrin and starting to dry her. Taking mine I did the same, paying special attention to her face and neck where a foamy lather had been worked up.

Finishing, I tensed slightly when I noticed Kenshin standing directly behind me. But he just smiled softly at me before, with his usual feline grace, he gently took the now damp rag from my hand and threw the saddle blanket over his arm. Then he let himself out of the stall holding the stall open for me as I picked up the bridle and walked out.

"Let's put this up and give Thirrin some water." He said quietly

"Okay," I replied as we walked toward the tack room. I hung up the bridle before grabbing one of the many empty buckets and filling it with water. Kenshin was already waiting so I followed him back to Thirrin's stall and setting the bucket inside I stood in time for a slight shiver to flash through my frame.

"Are you cold Kaoru?" I heard Kenshin murmur. Smiling I shook my head saying,

"My clothes are just a bit damp, that's all."

"I'm sorry, let's get you inside so you can change." He replied. I nodded gratefully

"Sounds good," giving Thirrin a quick pat on the nose we both walked down the aisle and out of the stables. Wrapping my arms tightly around myself we both hurried through the gentle drizzle that was falling in the courtyard and up the fortress steps. By now goose bumps graced my arms and I stopped under the eves to wring out my hair. A quick glare in Kenshin's general direction had him copying my movements before he ushered me inside.

I was planning on hurrying off to my rooms to get dry, and Kenshin might have let me, had my traitorous body not chosen that moment to let my teeth begin chattering uncontrollably. Instead he caught my arm.

"Here, you need a hot bath to warm up." He said and ignoring my adamant protests lead my down the hall toward the kitchens, where poking his head in he asked for Tsubame. Quickly she joined us in the hall looking at the two of us questioningly.

"Tsubame will you show Kaoru to the baths. Make sure she knows where everything is and then have her see Mistress Kuri about a pair of hakama. The ones she's wearing now won't be dry in time." After a few more grumbled protests at Kenshin's retreating back, I turned to Tsubame,

"Really, if you'll just show me the baths, I'm sure I'll be fine. Let me just get a set of dry clothes from my room." At Tsubame's nod I walked down the hall toward my room. Slipping into my rooms I scooped up the yellow kimono and red obi, before walking out to Tsubame in the hall. Quietly she murmured,

"The baths are this way," and walked down the hall.

Curiously I observed my surroundings. I hadn't been in this part of the fortress. As I followed Tsubame down various hallways I stubbornly clenched my jaw refusing to let my chattering teeth give me away. Finally we came to a door way opening it Tsubame revealed a room with cool stone floors, multiple portioned off rooms, as well as two large doorways each leading to large heated pools, judging from the steam permeating the air.

Smiling shyly at me Tsubame quietly suggested,

"Let's get you a private bathing room. You can get warm and hurry to dinner." Nodding my thanks I attempted a small smile without losing my battle with the shivers and chill, but I wasn't fooling anyone.

Helpfully, she led me to one of the smaller side doorways and gently shooed me inside. Turning away she said,

"I'm going to get you some towels," once she left I hurriedly peeled off my clammy wet clothing and all but jumped into the small bathing pool situated invitingly in the center of the small room. Sliding lower in the water I sighed at the sinful pleasure of near scalding water on my cold, sore muscles.

Ignoring the burning sensation in my extremities I slipped completely under trying to coax some warmth into my face. I surfaced in time to see Tsubame enter with a towel and what looked temptingly like a bag of sweet soap sand.

Setting the towel next to my haphazard pile of dry clothes she handed me the bag which (happily) _**was **_sweet sand. Nearly purring in sheer feminine pleasure, I thanked her profusely as I poured a generous handful of sand out. Wetting it I began to attack whatever horse grime still clung stubbornly to me. Wetting still more of the stuff I scrubbed violently at my scalp.

Dunking under the water, I relished the heat as I rinsed off. I noted happily that the warm water was being circulated constantly replacing the dirty, soapy water with fresh. Giving my hair one last rinse I stood to ring it out, noticing that Tsubame had already scooped up my wet clothes. Ferrying them off to god knows where to get cleaned.

Quickly grabbing the towel I dried off and wrapping my still wet hair into the towel to dry, I proceeded to dress quickly in my kimono. Tying the obi in place I turned just as Tsubame hurried in, she looked a bit surprised to see me clean, dry and dressed.

"Oh, I was going to give you a hand washing your hair but… I guess you got it." She said. One of the longest utterances I'd heard from her so far.

"It's alright Tsubame; I can take care of myself." Then letting my long hair down from the towel, I gestured at the tumbled mass as I asked,

"You wouldn't happen to have a brush would you? I don't really want to walk through the halls with my hair in a towel." Smiling softly she said,

"Sure, sit down over there. I'll get it." Moving toward the low bench she had indicated I sat, leaning against the cool stone walls. Sighing I breathed in the sweet steam and soap smell of the baths.

Soon Tsubame came back with a brush. Standing, I was planning on nabbing it for a quick comb and tying my hair back up in its customary ponytail. When unexpectedly Tsubame shook her head saying,

"Let me help you, just sit so I can reach." Sighing, I was about to politely turn her down when she murmured, "Please, I insist." After a moment I nodded, sitting back down saying,

"I _**can**_ brush my own hair," before quietly adding, "but thanks anyway." Soon I felt her small hands tugging and smoothing my hair so that it laid spread over my shoulders. Starting at the ends she gently worked her way up, carefully picking through snarls and tangles. Finally running the brush smoothly through my long ebony hair she shyly commented,

"You have such pretty hair, so long, almost as long as Misao's." softly I smiled saying,

"Thanks," then glancing around, "Oh shoot, you wouldn't have happened to see a leather hair tie lying around…" Smiling, she reached into a pocket of her loose apron and handed me the tie saying,

"It was right on top of your gi. By the way, I brought your wet clothes to the washrooms. Umm… you do know where that is right?" Grinning, I shook my head,

"Not a clue."

"It's the rooms right beside the kitchen." I nodded,

"Sounds good," taking my hair tie I deftly secured my long damp hair into a ponytail, before saying, "now I believe Kenshin expects me to see mistress Kuri about some hakama… hmm, something tells me if I don't get them, he'll simply march me over later this evening to see that I them personally." At that a stifled giggle escaped Tsubame before she schooled her features into a smooth expression her eyes twinkling. Quietly she said,

"Okay," before walking quietly in the direction of the seamstress's workroom with me at her side.

* * *

After leaving Kaoru in Tsubame's capable hands, I went to my rooms to change. Not for my own comfort, but it was necessary, for appearances. I have an elevated tolerance for environmental extremes. Stepping into my rooms I shucked my wet clothing and got dressed in a similar outfit.

Suddenly, I noticed my sword where it lay at my bed side. Picking it up, I ran a hand over the storm gray sheath. The sheath was etched with a complex series of interwoven knots. The blade itself had no solid color. Composed of water steel it was a multi-layered piece of metal created by folding steel of various strengths onto each other. The end product was as beautiful as it was deadly.

The billowing patterns of multi colored steel, like liquid silk added the qualities of hard brittle steels to the durability and malleability of softer steels, resulting in a highly resilient blade with an incredible cutting edge.

Frowning slightly I realized that contrary to my usual habit I had not been wearing my katana, it usually never left my side. Slightly perturbed I wondered what had shaken me from my usual precaution. Absent mindedness is not an affliction of the immortal.

Deftly, I secured the katana to my side; it felt like sliding into a second skin. Then pulling up my wet hair I stepped out of my rooms. Glancing down the hall I noticed Kaoru. She was walking toward me, with a hefty pile of clothing in her arms obscuring her vision. Despite the distance between us I could clearly hear her muttered grumblings about overzealous females and their repressed dress-up instincts. Grinning I strode towards her and smoothly removed the pile from her arms in time to get a startled,

"Hey!" still grinning I said,

"I think mistress Kuri has taken a liking to you."

"Yeah, that's what it is." She muttered sarcastically.

"Need these in your room?"

"Yeah, thanks" she replied

"So, what exactly is in this pile?" I queried, watching as her nose wrinkled adorably and she began to list,

"Umm… another gi, black hakama, and quite a few more kimonos if I'm not mistaken," she sounded faintly miffed.

"Huh, have you finished packing?" I asked politely just to keep her talking

"Almost," she replied opening her door, turning to me she held out her arms, expecting me to hand over the pile, but she should have known better by now. As I stepped around her saying,

"Now where do you want these?" I heard an exasperated,

"I was perfectly capable of taking them myself Kenshin!" from behind me. Walking into her bedroom I set down the clothing on top of her wooden chest. Then turning I met her withering gaze her deep blue eyes flashing in anger. I couldn't help it, pasting a speculating look on my face I said,

"Hmm… you know… you're adorable when you're angry." Making a quick getaway, before she recovered her wits enough to go after me. I chuckled softly as I heard her outraged,

_**"What!?" **_Follow me down the hall.

* * *

For a moment I glared ferociously at the door to the meeting room, '_Infuriating, over helpful, overbearing…_' my mental list of insults trailed off. Did I really have to sit beside him? After a comment like that! Grrr…. My stomach chose that moment to growl loudly. After a brief moment of deliberation I surrendered and opened the door stepping inside.

Glancing about, I noticed Kenshin, Megumi, and Yahiko were already seated. Kenshin was the picture of innocence. If a halo had spontaneously appeared above his crimson hair I wouldn't have been very surprised. Wide, violet eyes gazed directly into my narrowed blue.

Confused, I did a double take; '_Violet?_' and they were, unlike the striking ambers and golds I had seen up till now they had taken on an open and unassuming purple color. '_Strange…_' I thought taking my seat beside him. Quietly I greeted Megumi and Yahiko, then turning to Kenshin I pinned him with my eyes,

"You…" I said menacingly. His violet eyes were wide with innocence he replied,

"Oro?" I merely glared at him. As I watched his whole countenance changed. Slowly coils of amber swirled out from his pupils consuming the violet coloring. Specks of gold flashed in his eyes and a slow smile crept across his face. His relaxed posture shifted till he looked almost predatory. Finally I spoke,

"I'm not helpless you know." Still smirking he said,

"You are far from helpless Kaoru." I just pinned him with what I hoped was a withering glare before turning my attention to Megumi and Yahiko, who had been bickering quietly up till now.

Again, I became hyper aware of Kenshin's gaze burning into my back. I could almost see the amused smile he probably had on his face. Just then Sano, Aoshi, and Misao entered. Misao was happily carrying on a one way conversation with Aoshi and Sano looked as though he had been trying to coax his damp hair into its usual gravity defying style and failed.

I smiled, glad that their entrance had eased the growing tension I was beginning to feel between my shoulder blades. Tsubame followed. This evening a fried rice dish was served. As Megumi slid every one their bowls, I passed around cups for tea.

When I settled back into my place, Kenshin had already poured me a cup of what smelled temptingly like jasmine tea. His expression suggested it was meant as a peace offering. I sighed, I had never been able to stay angry for long and I offered a small smile before accepting the cup and taking a sip; the lovely scent twining about me. Settling into my place I listened intently as Kenshin went over last minute preparations.

* * *

After the meal every one turned in early. Sano and Megumi left first and with a rare show of affection Megumi allowed Sano to throw an arm about her as they walked out. Aoshi and Misao followed soon after. Kaoru was speaking quietly to Yahiko, probably reminding him to get his bokken before he turned in. As he trooped off, she stood saying,

"Night Kenshin, I have some packing I need to finish." I nodded

"In the morning, just show up here as usual and we will leave directly after the meal."

"Sounds good," she replied before walking out. For a moment I remained where I was. Finally deciding that there was nothing more for me to do I stood and walked silently to my rooms. Lowering myself against the wall I propped my katana against my shoulder before slipping into the semi- aware trance-like state that serves as rest for my kind. The only times I truly sleep are after injury or direct exposure to the sun.

* * *

Hakama*- wide leg trousers with heavy pleats. Traditionally worn by both men and women, miko's and when practicing kendo. (Until now I've just been calling them pants. I apologize profusely)

Tabi**- split toe socks worn with traditional zori.

Onigiri***- stuffed rice balls. You'll see them a lot in anime and manga usually wrapped in a strip of nori (seaweed)

Hi there! Sorry it took so long to update, but I swear Chapter 13 was cursed. **_Cursed_** I tell you, it took forever to write and even longer to get typed up to my satisfaction. So after **much** to do Ch 13 is finished. Mwahahahaha! (author laughs manicly in broad daylight... innocent bystanders back away slowly)

Please drop a review. Just click the little gray button. It's very easy, look, your mouse is already near it... It's nice to know I still have readers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin (author curls up in a corner to sulk)


	14. Chapter 14

Ch 14

Innocence Stained

When I woke the fortress had taken on an almost palpable buzz, people scrambling to prepare, the light patter of rain, all paling in comparison to my own racing heart. I got ready in a blur, scrolling though a mental checklist as I tried to push down the apprehension that was growing, as my joining a war transformed from an idle suggestion into action.

'_hair up, clothes on, supplies packed, room tidied…'_

Preparing to leave, I nearly tripped over my katana. Muttering a curse, I bent juggling my saddle bags so I could tie the darn thing on.

'_Katana, oh joy, another pointy object to worry about, brilliant Kaoru, just brilliant.'_ I chided myself as I resettled my saddle bag over my arm and walked into the infirmary to meet up with Megumi. Knocking lightly on the door I poked my head in,

"Need any help?" I asked Megumi's back where she was busily rummaging through her cabinets.

Swinging her head around to me, her face all business, as she continued rummaging with one arm through the recesses of the cabinet, she blinked as if pulling her attention back to me.

"Ah, Kaoru! You, yes I need you, can you come here for a moment?" she asked her voice sounding distracted.

"No problem, what do you need?" I replied walking in and depositing my bag onto one of the counters.

Finally extracting what she needed Megumi hurried over, tucking the packet into a medium sized satchel that sat on the counter.

"How much do you know about first aid?"

Looking at her quizzically I replied, "umm, well, I'm pretty competent with the basics I can bind minor wounds, deal with broken bones, sprains, pulled muscles, the kinds of injuries that happen in a dojo."

Megumi nodded, "You'll do, would you be comfortable if I left you in charge of this?"

She handed me the satchel, opening it I saw a pretty comprehensive collection of supplies, ranging from the bindings and bandages to basic herbs like shepherd's purse to stop bleeding and lavender to sooth wounds.

"Megumi?" I asked cautiously

"Look after them, they are trying to be inconspicuous and fast or I would send someone who really knew what they were doing. But they are trying to be sneaky, so you, at least, will keep a clear head. Remember, for all their bluster and fight, they just don't understand that even they have limits. And when it comes to injuries, ugh! They. Are. Hopeless." She said shaking her head

"Megumi, I really don't know all that much, I don't think-"

Megumi cut me off, "I'd leave this to Kenshin or Sano, but on a mission like this they will be in the thick of it. Out of all of them you are the least likely to be injured. Kenshin will need to move without attracting attention. They need someone with the presence of mind to not bind a cut with a dirty rag."

She wrinkled her nose delicately, "they actually did that once you know, it was almost worst than the time a scouting party went out and got ambushed. Everyone was so intent on getting out without being seen they didn't realize the commanding officer had been injured until he passed out from blood loss, they dragged him back here and still hadn't bound the wound."

My face must have still seemed unconvinced for she continued, "Don't worry, Sano and Kenshin both know their stuff, you won't be alone, but I need you being especially alert for something or someone who needs to be looked after."

I grimaced, "If you're sure…"

And somehow another pack of supplies ended up added to my baggage…peachy

Scooping up my growing pile of supplies I looked up to see Megumi hefting a similar bag at the question in my eyes she spoke,

"It's just a pack of medical supplies like I gave you. This is for Aoshi. He'll give it to someone in his group."

With that we both hurried towards the meeting room, slipping into the room behind Megumi I followed her example setting my bags against the wall before I snagged a bowl off the table and began eating as I observed the room's occupants.

Yahiko was practically bouncing with anticipation while Sano seemed just as eager in a more subdued manner. While Kenshin looked just as unruffled as usual if a bit more stern and concentrated.

He looked up as I entered sharp golden eyes flitting over my outfit, and packs no doubt noting Megumi's addition before he spoke, "Morning Kaoru, do you have everything?"

I nodded, "Everything but a bedroll and personal provisions."

"Good, I have what you need." He said as Aoshi and Misao came in. Aoshi carried two sets of saddle bags while Misao was dressed in a dark cloak her kunai and hand guards in place.

Everyone finished quickly, Misao gave everyone a hug before she and Aoshi walked out. Saying goodbye to Megumi I laughed as she reminded Sano loudly about packing, then walking over and grabbing his right hand she said,

"If you break this again, I swear, I let it stay that way." Quietly she added, "Be safe, I won't be there to patch you back up." Before reaching up on tiptoe to kiss him.

He wrapped his long arms about her figure holding her tightly before he whispered, "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

Then she left patting me on the arm before she hurried out of the room. As Yahiko headed over to grab his things I followed only to find Kenshin had already slung my bags over his shoulder. Scooping up some bundles along the wall he handed them to me,

"I already put trail provisions in your bag, this is a bed roll and water skin."

"Thank you"

And then the time for thinking and speaking was over, a group of warriors was departing and I was against all rational reasoning accompanying them.

Outside the camp was buzzing with activity despite the continued misting of moisture. Snagging my cloak from Kenshin I slung the heavy fabric over my shoulders pulling up the hood, the others soon followed my example, though the men left their hoods down.

Entering the stables I shoved back my hood and entered the tack room, without being asked I quickly grabbed a saddle blanket and bridle, turning I nearly bumped into Kenshin who handed me a simple halter and lead rope saying,

"Put the halter on underneath the bridle. Just place the lead rope in your saddle bags." And so saying handed the bags over to me carefully lowering the burden into my arms watching for any signs that he should carry it for me. Apparently satisfied that I could manage myself he headed toward Guenhwyvar's stall.

Escaping the crowded tack room into the only slightly less congested aisle I dodged around a couple of horses on leads before slipping into Thirrin's thankfully calm stall.

Slipping on her halter and bridle, I lay her saddle blanket over her withers settling my saddle bags over her hind quarters and clinching my bedroll in place. Leading Thirrin carefully into the aisle I heard Kenshin call,

"Bring the horses out front."

So following the general flow of movement I found myself joining the chaotic group of men and horses milling about the area before the stables. Hoping to stay out of everyone's way I moved quickly towards the fence hitching Thirrin there. Soon Yahiko joined me leading a blue and brown eyed paint, its large brown splotches looking black with moisture.

We watched quietly as Kenshin and Sano barked orders soon getting twelve men and their animals organized and settled for travel. The two pack horses were attached by leads to two of the other animals. In the space of a half hour we were ready to leave. As the others mounted up Yahiko and I followed their example, swinging onto out horses. Scanning the area I saw Kenshin beckoning me, so with Yahiko trailing me, I carefully guided Thirrin toward Guenhwyvar's bulk. The horses sniffed each other politely before Thirrin lost interest in the large stallion and pointedly ignored him.

Kenshin chuckled softly as he watched out mounts interact before, catching mine and Yahiko's full attention he spoke,

"Just make sure you ride near either Sano or myself. That goes for you too Yahiko."

I nodded and heard Yahiko agree as well, and so as we trotted out of camp I stayed quietly in my position behind two black stallions and their riders. Thirrin was giving me surprisingly little trouble and as we rode the men spoke quietly amongst themselves, while Yahiko chatted with me. Apparently it would take three days travel to reach Kapta.

The farther we traveled the harder the rain came down and by noon the heavy droplets were coming down in veritable sheets, visibility was reduced to the horse directly in front of you and the roads to sludge. And me? I was thanking the gods that underneath the cloak I was still warm and relatively dry, considering the inundation of water coming down over me.

* * *

How shall I describe setting up camp? As evening set in the temperature dropped and the rain did not let up, we set up camp a good way's off from the road shielded by a low hillock on a clearing that seemed to be high enough that rain water was draining away rather than pooling. Luckily there was enough of a wooded area nearby to offer the horses some shelter.

'_Long, wet and grueling, yup, those sound about right,'_ I thought as I huddled with Yahiko within our tent. We had set up beside Kenshin and Sano's tent; all of the men save those unfortunate enough to have watch duty were huddled within their tents trying to stay as warm and dry as possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~XXXXX~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By morning the rain had subsided into a constant damp mist which cloaked everything a deep swirling fog, the fact that the rain had finally ceased improved everyone's moods considerably. And although travel was slow going on the boggy roads, all were glad for the fog, a blessing they hadn't thought to gain completely shielding our movements from enemy eyes. The weather fluctuated between soup thick fog and a light drizzle over the next two days. Thick, purple-green cloud cover shielding the sun. Time which, our group took advantage of, ironing out plans and making last minute adjustments.

Once the rain let up enough to allow for conversation, I was, surprisingly, not completely isolated, the warriors were fairly accepting of my presence. The general consensus seemed to be that I was there with Battousai's approval, and that meant I must be in some way, important to the missions sucess, and not to be looked down upon.

The men had in him the utmost belief that when all hell broke loose he would be there with them, pulling them out on top. He was more than their Lord Commander. Every man in this group trusted that with this leader they would not become fodder to mercenary swords, nor would their honor be tarnished in his service.

The easy camaraderie among them was something I was peripherally accepted into, most were older, more experienced warriors and treated me with a teasing respect. Though, in retrospect, I don't think anyone in their right mind would have attempted disrespect toward any female while Battousai's level golden eyes were upon them.

I soon found that by some silent agreement I was never left alone. Sleeping, eating, during travel, save when I was changing and a deeply blushing Yahiko was momentarily booted from our shared quarters, either Kenshin, Sano or Yahiko were always within sight and doing their darnedest to look after me. It might have been amusing, two grown men and a boy child so preoccupied by such a slip of a girl had they not been so utterly vigilant about it and had I not completely understood their precaution.

The cover that passed the men off as traveling mercenaries did not pass for me. Women did not travel, the chance for abduction was simply too high, between your run of the mill thieves searching for a profit, the lords' various mercenary armies, and the lords themselves, to be a woman was not safe. Even hiding out in your village of birth your entire life was not a guarantee of safety.

It was nice to know that, for once, I was not the disposable one, someone to be given up in favor of the community's wellbeing. It was almost sad that it had taken having my expendability proven to find someone who cared that no harm came to me. To find a place where I was seen as a person and not an unattached girl child, an unwanted nuisance, unclaimed property, which could be given, taken, sold or captured with no repercussions or consequences.

* * *

As we neared the outpost our party abandoned the roads no longer trusting the weather too keep us out of sight. Our advantage was surprise and Kenshin meant to use that to his advantage, they would slip into the outpost at nightfall.

Camp was set up around half a mile outside Kapta well concealed on the leeward side of the hillside. We would get in and get out before anyone knew we were there. No one must know it had been Battousai's forces.

Kapta's imperial outpost was less a fortress, than a rough clustering of buildings alongside the town. Even I could easily see it would not be defensible, yet I knew if this moved into the town it would be virtually impossible to avoid alerting the City to our movements. Urban warfare is messy, terrified civilians, panicking soldiers and far too many places to hide, I only hoped our men could end this quickly.

As I suspected Yahiko and I were meant as perimeter, alert to any guards or messengers that might escape the attack. And no matter how much the thought of this outpost's complete destruction bothered me I could understand that it was for the best. Discovery now would only result in further deaths as this war dragged out.

A we left the horses well concealed within a very sodden copse of trees I was on the receiving end of Sano's supportive pat on the back and a few of the more outgoing men's "be ready to patch us back up when we return." I could feel Kenshin's golden eyes on me the whole way, and without looking, I knew they would be ferociously protective and focused.

The night was dark and damp a barely perceptible amount of light filtering thorough the cloud cover. From our position we could see the watchmen as meandering globes of light. The weak light of their lantern's guttering and weak in the darkness well outside the outposts street lanterns and lit windows.

Silently, the group split into pairs spreading out to approach the outpost from all sides, only Kenshin planned to move alone. Yahiko and I stayed back alert for sounds of movement. I could hear his soft panting breaths beside me, as we silently circled the outpost. The mist and darkness made our eyes nearly useless and I relied on other senses listening carefully for the soft squelch of footsteps or rustle of clothing. Apprehension lay upon me like a suffocating blanket of dread

For a long moment there was nothing the fog dampening any noise our men might have made. Yahiko tugged on my sleeve and I bent his words a mere breath in my ear,

"How will we know?"

In answer I pointed towards the almost ghostly specters of light that indicated guards, at my motion Yahiko nodded his understanding. Then it began.

The slowly moving circles of light paused and went out. No sound filtered back to us… the night pressed in as we ghosted along the perimeter. Worry gnawed at me, my head knew that hearing nothing was best, it meant that our men had not been discovered but knowing nothing was hard, perhaps three minutes passed in silence after the watchmen were silenced.

Then a scream quickly cut off echoed into the silent night. I heard Yahiko's shallow intake of breath at the finality of the sound. As the outpost awakened light flickered into existence, muffled sounds of death filtering up to us. Suddenly my eyes noticed slight movement near the edge of the outpost. I heard the rustle of dried brush as something moved.

'_Please, let it be one of our men._' My mind pled as stood frozen watching the anomaly. As I motioned Yahiko to stay alert for others and edged closer to investigate.

My rational mind screamed, _'what the hell do you think you're doing?!? War, Kaoru that means death, you do not kill!'_ No, I would not kill, but if I refused to act, Yahiko in his brash and thoughtless bravery would, and he would undoubtedly die. Staying under the slight cover the scraggly brush that grew here provided I moved silently closer my smaller form letting me stay silent while who ever it was rustled the bushes with each step.

Hearing the squelch of his steps and his muttered curses I knew he was not one of ours. At the same moment he must have noticed me for in an instant we were both on our feet swords drawn.

I felt my heart race, now there was no choice, he had seen me, no soldier would let 'the enemy' live, nor could I in good conscience allow him to pass unchallenged. I knew his escape would mean more deaths latter down the line, but I… I was the only one here… '_I will not kill._' I chanted to myself blocking out the insidious voice which whispered, '_no, you will capture him so that another may end his life.'_

His features were dark, all I could make out was his silhouette against the light of the outpost. The steel of his blade casting off glints of light which betrayed its position. He remained silent, trying not to give away his position. Yet I had the advantage he could not see my position against the night and was vulnerable. Experimentally, I dragged the tip of my blade through the brush far to my left. The man cursed whipping around to face the sound and backing away toward the light of the outpost.

I followed, I could not afford to attack him in the darkness, I might have a slight advantage now but if our positions switched I alone would be visible and I doubted he would hesitate to hack me in half. So I herded him making noise sometimes to my left others to my right at times drawing my blade over the mouth of my sheath a sound that might be mistaken as a slash in his direction. Soon he was nearly among the buildings and he became full visible to my well adjusted eyes.

His eyes were wide, scanning the blackness before him desperately, his blade held before him in a position meant to defend from any side. The man had a large frame and I knew whether or not he proved skilled with a blade I would be hard pressed to subdue so large an opponent.

I soon ceased my belaying tactics and settled into my stance before finally stepping into the light. I knew the instant he finally picked me out of the gloom a self confidant smirk settled onto his face before he suddenly attacked. Brashly assured that my small stature would make me an easy opponent, his attack was reckless a broad arc toward my neck, and I blocked easily, though his sheer strength forced me back several steps.

He quickly leapt back out of my range seemingly amazed I had repelled him. Leaping forward I attempted to make use of his shock to relieve him of his blade but he managed to clumsily avoid my attack.

Slashing wildly in my direction as he tried to hold me off he scrambled back finally getting his feet back under him. He must have finally registered that I was not a young boy but a woman for he seemed to gain confidence rushing forward his blade coming over me in a left to right slash. I blocked him our bodies straining against each other as he attempted to shove me to the ground.

"You are a weakling woman, lie down and die, like the traitorous bitch you are." He growled his voice frightening for the sheer hatred it contained.

I quickly disengaged, unable to hold off his weight any longer. I remained silent, this only seemed to amuse him. As we traded blows, I allowed him the offensive, biding my time for a moment when I could disarm him without killing him.

His train of insults continued and after one particularly vicious lunge towards me I slipped my blade under his, wounding his right arm. I tried to pull back out of range but in a surprisingly quick move he drew his blade diagonally before him. Landing a hit along my ribs in a burning line along my left side, the cut slashed across my abdomen and I leapt out of range hissing softly at the pain.

"You serve a demon, and will die a soulless witch." He snarled hatefully.

This was not good, I couldn't drag this out much longer, Yahiko was alone and for all he was gifted in sword work, he was inexperienced and untaught, little more than a child. I could not abandon him.

Finally, I went on the offensive, moving towards him with a flurry of blows aimed toward his arms. I landed a few hits and received a shallow slice along my right forearm. We both backed away from each other panting. The sounds of the fight within the complex were growing louder and seemed to draw him from his shell of hatred and his insults trailed off.

My opponent seemed to draw himself together, before he rushed me in a vicious frontal attack his blade coming down over head, I barely raised my own in time to block, his strength driving me to my knees. His full weight bearing down on me, I felt my arms burn, screaming for release. Finally, I managed to disengage rolling to the side as his blade raked down my left side again. Rolling to my feet, my arms shaking from exertion I faced him.

This was not good, I could feel blood dampening my side where my gi had been slashed open, he was not very skilled, but he was strong. I would not be able to block another full on attack.

He sensed my weakness and attacked again, I was too slow, I knew I would not survive locking blades with him again, instead I lunged to the side landing a long cut along his left arm. But the man whirled his katana coming for my head. In desperation I ducked under his attack, my muscles moving instinctively to prevent my death. I felt my blade slice through the flesh of his leg and up across his chest. A move that with a bokken would have first dislocated his knee before connecting with his jaw and laying him out cold, but this, was live steel.

He stood for a moment before his leg gave out and he crumpled to the ground, blood pumping in a frightening amount from the wound along his thigh. A darkening line of blood sprouting across his chest

"Finish me bitch," he hissed, laughing darkly as I shook my head. Numbly I kicked his weapon out of reach, my mind screaming that something was very wrong.

"Coward, I hope your demonic lord damn's your soul before he eats you." He croaked.

Despite myself I backed up a step at the venom of his words, he seemed to register this and continued,

"Yes, woman, your lord is a soulless blood sucking demon." His voice was weak, blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth and I knew then what I had done. Horror swamped my brain blocking out any further insults the dying man may have delivered.

Blood still streamed from his leg in copious amounts and soon the man's head collapsed back into the mud. It was every where turning the mud black, coating my hands and body, sliding sickeningly down my blade mixing with the rain. Whether the blood was my own or his I could no longer tell.

With a muffled cry of denial I pulled back. Hands shaking I swiped my blade clean on my hakama. Never turning my back on the horrific scene, I edged out of the subtle light thrown by the lanterns hung within the outpost, my mind frozen with shock, I barely felt Yahiko's hands tugging at my gi.

'_no, no, no…_' my mind chanted

Finally, Yahiko's panicked grip on my hand pulled me into a semi alert state. Bending I heard him whisper

"Please, Kaoru, Kaoru are you ok?" his voice shaky

I nodded mutely listening as the sounds of the fight within Kapta subsided. Automatically scanning our surroundings for movement I tried desperately to pull myself together. Yahiko still needed me. My mind focused solely on the present, thanking the gods he had no seen that horrific duel. Could not see the blood coating my clothing. I could feel my body going into shock, desperately I tried to pull back from the edge, I could break down later.

'_Not now, not yet… we were not out of the woods yet, I could not afford to shut down and leave Yahiko defenseless. '_

Thankfully he did not ask further holding to my rule that we not speak unless it was absolutely necessary.

It may have been minutes or hours later that the night subsided once more into silence and Yahiko's slight touch on my arm reminded me that we should be moving toward the rendezvous point. We were silent, he for stealth and I because of shock, I could feel my wounds bleeding sluggishly and vaguely registered that I should see to them but could only bring myself to lead Yahiko silently toward the low isolated copse of trees that had been chosen before hand, medical supplies and provisions already in place.

Finally we entered their relative shelter, hearing the rustle of others; I softly called out our safe word, "Guenhwyvar," before stepping deeper within the trees.

Almost immediately I met Maso, whose broad form I could barely make out in the gloom. He waved me through and I stepped into the clearing the copse concealed. There were a few groups of men here and there. I moved about quietly asking after injuries, thankfully there was nothing worse than minor wounds and I finally allowed myself to sink to the ground at the base of a tree. I hurt, my ribs and abdomen throbbing and pulsing nauseatingly, but it was a dull pain, barely registering in the back of my mind as my minds eye saw flowing blood and a broken body. I felt Yahiko pause beside me unsure, before he sank down beside me with a sigh.

I felt numb like my head had been stuffed with cotton. No light was lit in the clearing and men continued to trickle in, in two's and threes. I felt more than heard him arrive.

His voice low yet carrying, "I count fifteen, were there no casualties?"

A soft no met his inquiry

"Then we will return to camp and tend to injuries. We will meet to discuss at dawn."

At his words a few men rose and moved silently into the trees in small groups or alone. Then he was quite simply there, scanning the clearing and moving towards me with an accuracy that would have worried me had I been thinking straight.

Immediately he knelt at my side,

"Kaoru, you are bleeding." His voice low and worried

Mutely I nodded

"What?" Yahiko exclaimed softly, "Kaoru's injured?"

At the fear in his small voice I spoke, "I'm fine Yahiko, it's just a scratch. I only fell, can't you tell from the mud? Run along, and catch up with the others."

He seemed hesitant but then Kenshin spoke up,

"She's fine Yahiko, I will look after her hurry, do not get separated."

At that Yahiko stood leaving my side. The moment he was out of earshot Kenshin spoke,

"What happened?"

"One of the soldiers escaped the perimeter." My tongue felt heavy and my words were slow methodical.

"Where is he?" Kenshin's tight voice promised violence.

"Dead." I managed to croak.

Then suddenly, Kenshin's strong arms wrapped around me, he smelled of death, but then, so did I.

"I'm so sorry, I never should have brought you here." He murmured fiercely.

I meant to shake my head, tell him it was my own fault, for not being stronger, faster, more careful, but I couldn't, my limbs were filled with lead, I felt so cold and all I could see was the blood, so much blood…

Carefully he raised me to my feet and I stood mechanically.

"Come, let me tend to your wounds."

I must have nodded for he stepped closer ignoring the minor wound on my arm he went immediately for the largest wounds on my side. The entire left side of the gi had been ripped open twin slashes beginning very deeply just below my breast bindings before they curved across my abdomen becoming shallower.

Had I been lucid I might have wondered how he could even tell I was injured much less see well enough to tend to my wound. Instead I stood woodenly as he quickly overlapped the torn sides of my gi retying them with my belt so that the fabric created a slight pad over the open wounds.

As he steered me gently through the woods I felt cold, deep in my bones, dimly I registered that we were headed back to camp before my mind dragged me under, waves of guilt and horror clawing at my consciousness…

…

When I resurfaced I was seated within a tent, blankets wrapped tightly about me. From the unnatural stiffness I felt about my waist I could tell my wounds had been properly bound. I was dressed a clean gi and by the light of the candle guttering weakly before me I could see that this was not my tent.

I contemplated rising but that would have required a strength I simply didn't feel at the moment, I heard the tent flap rustle as it was pulled back, involuntarily my eyes flit towards the tent opening catching sight of scarlet hair, as said redhead entered, tired amber orbs met mine,

"Are you alright Kaoru?"

Mutely I shrugged as I began to ease my way out of the cocoon he had secured me into. But Kenshin shook his head as he pulled the covers back up around my shoulders.

"You were going into shock, from the blood loss, you need to stay warm."

Without a word I subsided, the tent was silent I could dimly hear the rest of the camp, the murmur of men and the light patter of rain.

"Please, speak to me Kaoru, are you in pain?" he finally asked anxiously

I moved to shake my head and then stopped, softly I replied, "No, my wounds were not life threatening."

Kneeling beside me, Kenshin gauged my expression. Something in my face must not have been as placid as I intended for silently he settled beside me enfolding me in his arms,

"I'm so sorry; I should never have left you without another fighter. You should not have had to make that decision, Kaoru. I would not have made you come if I had even thought this would happen." He murmured a blank hopelessness in his tone,

His arms were iron strong and warm around me, his touch soothing as his hands gently stroked my hair.

I stayed silent, hating myself for how I leaned into his comforting warmth, his solid frame which spoke of strength and protection. What was there to say? A man was dead, _**I**_ had killed him with my own two hands.

I could feel this vast gulf of despair and self loathing threatening to pull me under, but it was not in my nature to give in to such weakness. I let them drain away, I held myself back from the welcoming, all encompassing pain which would bear me away into deep oblivion.

But I could not, I had already indulged in such a respite, I would not succumb to my own horror again. It was so easy to lean into Kenshin's strength, to forget, for the moment, who he was, and only feel the slight veil of peace he seemed, even now, able to bestow.

I could see it, in my minds eyes, in all its sharp reality, as if my brief escape from the present had thrown me into a strange state of clarity, but then, perhaps, it is only that hindsight is twenty-twenty. I could see it, every moment I might have acted differently, might have spared his life, but you know, the thing about hindsight is that the story's ending never changes.

It hurt and I didn't know how but I when I pulled away from the memory, I had burrowed against Kenshin, my lips moving almost unconsciously. It took me a moment to realize my words.

"I-…What have I done? I didn't want to kill him. I didn't- how could I? Please, I didn't- I tired- but he…he-"

"Hush, Kaoru, hush, I know. It's alright now, I'm here." A soft reassuring murmur, as soothing as the warm hand on my head, something I wanted to shove away at the same time as I clung close to his warmth. I did not deserve his kindness, his understanding.

How could I trust it, I could not believe, deep down, that a lord had good intentions. Kenshin? Most probably, but he was, none the less, a lord, responsible for the welfare of many and with that responsibility there was power, and that I feared above all else.

It was selfish, cowardly, despicable to even now hold fear for myself when I had- when a life had ended to preserve my own. I lapsed into silence finally realizing that I hadn't stopped speaking, I would not whimper. But Kenshin only held me close as we waited for dawn.

* * *

Hello again my lovelies, going back I am actually finding this fic quite a failure and am honestly wondering how I worked up the guts to post it at all… oh well, we may never know.

Ok, umm… wow, as promised I have not abandoned this fic, but during its rather long hiatus I realized that it most defiantly some of my least savory bits of writing. I am hoping to rectify this dire mistake by revamping the fic from this point on. (gotta love the word revamp in a vampire fic ^_^ yes it's cheesy, it's supposed to be)

I am actually really regretting the vampire concept, in general it just seems to cheapen the whole effect of the plotline , but fear not I feel that it is too integral a part of the fic to remove at this point so deep breaths. Other than that I hope to up the pacing on this, I feel I've dragged my poor readers kicking and screaming through enough of our characters rather tedious daily lives, and work on general flow as well as characterization. Much love for anyone who's stuck around long enough to read this ^_^

Reviewers, as always, are good people.

_**Disclaimer:**_ the real owner of Rurouni Kenshin would never put their characters through as much pain and emotional hell as I put them, you should have noticed this by now.


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